Monday, December 7, 2009

Letting Go...

The last few days I have been releasing some of the darkest of my old ways. I used to think that I was spiritually aligned if I was outwardly positive and met the world with that positive outlook.  That whole time, I was vividly aware of the undercurrent of thoughts going through my mind... anger, fear, anxiety, suspicion, jealousy, greed.  Dark thoughts they were, but the teachings of the time suggested that all I had to do was have an attitude that was positive and all would be good.

I know different now.

It isn't enough to just have a positive outlook; to act on the surface with intention for something becomes infused with the undercurrent regardless of how positive I may try to be. I thought if I had an attitude of gratitude, for example then that gratefulness would be broadcast throughout my being and my surroundings. Turns out that I was still deceiving myself. The undercurrent is what was broadcast...

It is a good place to start, being positive... "Fake it, til you make it", we've all heard as a suggestion for how to be. But this should just be a temporal place, the ultimate experience must be to root around and find the source of the thoughts that are trying to tell us that things are amiss, that there has been some personal harm done or that some perceived need is not being met. 

I have been positive while the source is still polluted and there is no freedom there. I would eventually succumb, fall into the trap, then see my reality through tainted senses, thus believing that things were terribly wrong when in reality everything was perfect.

I am going to the source now and that has made all the difference. I look at all thoughts coming into my mind and look at my response to them. If I start to feel the dark energies arise in relation to the thought then I know there is work to do, something to forgive and release.

Ultimately I am completely reprogramming my being to be aligned with my higher consciousness rather than the sensational external world. This has come through meditation and stillness and has provided much healing. I do my best now not to align with those old ways, taking action to let it go...

If this resonates with you, the reader, then try going to the source.  Track back a thought to an experience, is this it? Is this the source of my discomfort now? No... Keep going, until you find the root experience or memory of it. And when you find it, Forgive, forgive, forgive... All parties, yourself, the situation... Forgive it and especially forgive yourself.  Be sure to call all of your power and energy back, heal and then release it... find your own way, but let it go... 


Tuesday, December 1, 2009


It seems that every day brings new inspiration to my life. The Thanksgiving weekend brought much introspection and healing. I received an amazing healing session on Thanksgiving day that brought awareness to my thoughts, words and actions relating to abundance. I spent most of the day meditating on the insights of the session and released many destructive thought and energy patterns.

I make time for myself to experience the wonder of all that is. Sitting quietly on the porch, the chill autumn desert breeze carrying errant thoughts away, I search for the stillness. In the desiccated leaf that broke bud many moons ago, I see the simple complexity of the experience. All things change.  This leaf, once alive, now blowing in the breeze barely hanging on to what once was. Eventually, it will let go and find itself on a new path, back to source to support new life. It will join all the other leaves, becoming mulch to nourish the earth so new life can spring forth next spring.

The old ways are dying in me, those unhealthy patterns and behaviors I used to bully my way through life are in the autumn of their existence. They are drying up from lack of use and many have let go already, swept out by the winds of change.

The old ways were keeping me from my true purpose and blinding me to my authentic self. I can see now and am excited by this adventure. I seek stillness and in doing so have found a pathway to the Divine that is returning my being to wholeness; balancing mind, body and spirit. This has brought about incredible energy, increased vitality, better health, stronger life force, amazing insights, synchronicity and abundance.

Humbly, I navigate new opportunities that have opened to me as the old ways crumble.  I receive gratefully the offerings of the universe, now recognizing the Divinity in my surroundings and experience. I am inspired, as I see there is nothing to become. I am already here, layer after layer that releases merely revealing what has been all along.

In this new light, I now truly experience the miraculous and beautiful world that exists all around us.