This morning I contemplate selfless service. Allowing the highest and best good to unfold before me while being present and holding sacred space. I can see just how important the Soul work has been to allow this to occur. I am better able to release my egoic interests because I have come to see that they just get in the way. It will all unfold as it is supposed to if I just relax into the flow, bear witness and am in my heart.
My partner, Deva and I are just finishing a 3 1/2 day Shamanic Healing retreat that we hosted here in Sedona, AZ. The insights, direct experience and healing that is occurring for the participants is truly amazing. Shamanic work is so empowering, as it is participatory in nature. Participants become practitioners very quickly once introduced to non-ordinary reality and after journeying to meet their Shamanic Power Animal.
The work is very empowering, facilitating stronger connection to Source and a better understanding of one’s experience in the world. As one’s practice builds, much of the outer stuff falls away and the source of dis-ease becomes illuminated allowing a practitioner to truly heal wounds of the past.
In being present this last 3 days, holding space, doing Soul Retrieval and guiding these wonderful beings to find their Higher Selves, I realized, again how important it is to remove the “self” from the service.
It is not up to me, Marc to decide what is in someone’s highest and best good... However, by being present, “seeing”, “listening” and holding Sacred Space the energy flows without the “self” involved, I become the “hollow bone”, thus allowing the energy, wisdom and power of creator to flow through me. I become the guide on the journey, allowing Creator to work in this reality through me.
I am to be in Service... I know that, have always known it, even when I didn’t know how. My journey has led me to this place and I step another step on the path.
Much is unfolding as I let go of the self, the amazing adventure continues...
Love and Light,
Marc
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Checking in with Creator
What I am coming to see is that where I have gone against Creator in my life... Choices, thoughts, words and actions that were not aligned with my original blueprint, these are the places that have created discord in my life. These are the places that I am healing now. I can tell this is happening because there are “tells” in my body. If I listen with an ear to non-ordinary reality, I can see what needs to be addressed.
Many times along the way unconscious thoughts, words and actions bound up my energy and I lost it to the situation... From that point forward, without a conscious effort to get it back, any time a similar frequency of experience occurred, I would re-enact the script as though it were the first time. That just doesn’t make sense... What happened over years of this unconscious behavior is that I developed what’s called wrong knowledge.
As I continue to recover the stuck pieces of my soul energy, it feels as though my being is changing. I understand the nature of my experience much better. As my energy returns my light is becoming stronger and vibrating at a much higher frequency. When density appears it is so out of place... it becomes the elephant in the room, as it were. This is the time to check in with Creator, the Source of all Love.
Going deep into a shamanic meditation brings me to non-ordinary reality. This is the place of dreams... the place where everything has meaning, nothing is out of place and all is available for my learning and understanding. It is the place of extraordinary depth, it is the place of Creation. It is here that I journey to past lives and here that I journey to the past of this life. And it is here that I am beginning to see the blueprint of my Creation.
This is the work to be done... Why am I here? What am I to bring to Creation? How am I to be? A myriad of other questions will come in as you explore the nature of your Creation. It is amazing work, thrilling and exciting I journey to meet myself and discover answers to the questions that have never been answered.
As it becomes clearer I am better able to see my contributions to this lifetime and make choices that are aligned with my Higher Consciousness. I understand wrong knowledge now, seeing that I had developed it along the way and was using it as truth. Ok... So that needs to change and I have a practice to correct the errors of my ways... I do so to freely be in the present moment, the moment of Creation. To better represent the Divine nature Creator intended for my Soul, I continue the work.
So, I move into this day with purposeful intent, steadfast to the practice I forgive and release all that has come before so I may walk peacefully sharing Love with all Creation...
Light and Love
Marc
Many times along the way unconscious thoughts, words and actions bound up my energy and I lost it to the situation... From that point forward, without a conscious effort to get it back, any time a similar frequency of experience occurred, I would re-enact the script as though it were the first time. That just doesn’t make sense... What happened over years of this unconscious behavior is that I developed what’s called wrong knowledge.
As I continue to recover the stuck pieces of my soul energy, it feels as though my being is changing. I understand the nature of my experience much better. As my energy returns my light is becoming stronger and vibrating at a much higher frequency. When density appears it is so out of place... it becomes the elephant in the room, as it were. This is the time to check in with Creator, the Source of all Love.
Going deep into a shamanic meditation brings me to non-ordinary reality. This is the place of dreams... the place where everything has meaning, nothing is out of place and all is available for my learning and understanding. It is the place of extraordinary depth, it is the place of Creation. It is here that I journey to past lives and here that I journey to the past of this life. And it is here that I am beginning to see the blueprint of my Creation.
This is the work to be done... Why am I here? What am I to bring to Creation? How am I to be? A myriad of other questions will come in as you explore the nature of your Creation. It is amazing work, thrilling and exciting I journey to meet myself and discover answers to the questions that have never been answered.
As it becomes clearer I am better able to see my contributions to this lifetime and make choices that are aligned with my Higher Consciousness. I understand wrong knowledge now, seeing that I had developed it along the way and was using it as truth. Ok... So that needs to change and I have a practice to correct the errors of my ways... I do so to freely be in the present moment, the moment of Creation. To better represent the Divine nature Creator intended for my Soul, I continue the work.
So, I move into this day with purposeful intent, steadfast to the practice I forgive and release all that has come before so I may walk peacefully sharing Love with all Creation...
Light and Love
Marc
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Living the Dream
I have said this on occasion, Living the Dream... Most notably, while on wildfire assignments. I have always been very passionate about fighting wildland fire, ever since the first time I was exposed to it back in 1987. Actually, the first time was lighting piles during the fall burning season for a forestry contractor in Missoula, MT. The smoke and flames... Wow, I was really excited about it.
Now, 23 years later I am still as passionate about my role in the wildland fire service as I was back then. Living the Dream, I will say when asked, “How are you?” on assignment. And it is true, I did dream about this many times along the way. I dreamed of becoming a Type 1 Helibase Manager and being on a Type 1 National Incident Management Team, and now I am.
This was my dream and I took steps to make it happen. That is what occurs when one is passionate about something. And herein lies the enigma I have been searching for. Much of my life to the point where I started making choices that were aligned with my Authentic Self some 3 years ago was someone else’s dream. That’s right, I was living someone else’s dream... and it didn’t work out. How did it happen?
Through shamanic journeying and soul retrieval I have found the answer. And in doing so, I have released much burden from my being. I was angry, resentful, wrathful, fearful, unsure at times... I was carrying around a lifetime’s worth of choices and actions that were predicated on training that I received as a child growing up. Oh sure, I did them... I was there the whole time, but many decisions were not aligned with my Authentic Self.
I remember from my earliest recollection my well-intentioned parents training me for a productive and successful life in our society. Preparing me for college, providing experiences that they thought would enrich my experience... make me a better person. Classical guitar lessons, tennis, heavy emphasis on school are just a few that stick out.
But, something happened... It seems that while I was growing up, I was unable to find me. I suspect that if I tried to express myself in a way that I wanted to it was put to the “parent’s dream” test. If it was aligned, then thumbs up if not, then perhaps that isn’t the best thing for Marc.
I am oversimplifying a very deep personal discovery, but you get the picture. I suspect this happens a great deal in parenting, couples wanting the best for their children... better than they had it. So, a plan forms as to how that can be and parents set about to make it happen. But, what about this developing spiritual human being? How does he determine what he wants to be when he grows up?
In my case, I began to live their dream... albeit reluctantly, rebelliously and with much difficulty. And it made me angry... I carried around a great deal of anger as a child and into my adult life. Even though I have lived a peaceful life these last several years, there has always been an undercurrent of anger and rage deep within my being. It only came out in flashes or in a look but it was there.
Last night I saw it though... And I journeyed on it. And I did Soul Recovery as well, getting back huge pieces of my Soul that had fractured off along the way. I am feeling better now... better able to see why many of the things I have been working through have occurred. Why I never seemed to truly be happy... Well, it all boils down to this. I am living my dream now. I am living for me and reuniting with my Authentic Self and in doing so have found happiness.
This latest discovery is a relief. I am continuing the soul recovery process, especially forgiveness and release focusing on my childhood and my parents. In doing so, I am seeing where “my story” was wrong. Because of the traumatic (to the Soul) experiences and resulting Soul piece loss, I was harboring a great deal of anger and resentment... Blame towards my parents. (I am so sorry Mom and Dad...). Over the years, this festered and boiled and was turned down to a simmer, but it was always there. Even now, looking back over the past several years, thinking that my relationship with my parents was really good, I can see that I haven’t been fully present with them. Deep in my sub-conscious, I always felt that I was letting them down if I tried to be me, especially now that I have so dramatically departed from their early dreams for me.
But what’s interesting is now all they want for me is to be happy... Well, I am going to have a much better time of it now that I am releasing this. Yay!
So as I continue to forgive and release, I am opening up and better able to see them for the beautiful and amazing parents they have been to me these 41 years. I love you dearly, Mom and Dad... Thank you... And I am feeling the lightness of being returning to me. I am feeling my Authentic Self and listening to my Guides. This healing was necessary for me to truly stand in the Light of my Being and I am grateful.
I am Living my Dream now... with Total Personal Responsibility I am Living my Dream.
Peace and Love
Marc
Now, 23 years later I am still as passionate about my role in the wildland fire service as I was back then. Living the Dream, I will say when asked, “How are you?” on assignment. And it is true, I did dream about this many times along the way. I dreamed of becoming a Type 1 Helibase Manager and being on a Type 1 National Incident Management Team, and now I am.
This was my dream and I took steps to make it happen. That is what occurs when one is passionate about something. And herein lies the enigma I have been searching for. Much of my life to the point where I started making choices that were aligned with my Authentic Self some 3 years ago was someone else’s dream. That’s right, I was living someone else’s dream... and it didn’t work out. How did it happen?
Through shamanic journeying and soul retrieval I have found the answer. And in doing so, I have released much burden from my being. I was angry, resentful, wrathful, fearful, unsure at times... I was carrying around a lifetime’s worth of choices and actions that were predicated on training that I received as a child growing up. Oh sure, I did them... I was there the whole time, but many decisions were not aligned with my Authentic Self.
I remember from my earliest recollection my well-intentioned parents training me for a productive and successful life in our society. Preparing me for college, providing experiences that they thought would enrich my experience... make me a better person. Classical guitar lessons, tennis, heavy emphasis on school are just a few that stick out.
But, something happened... It seems that while I was growing up, I was unable to find me. I suspect that if I tried to express myself in a way that I wanted to it was put to the “parent’s dream” test. If it was aligned, then thumbs up if not, then perhaps that isn’t the best thing for Marc.
I am oversimplifying a very deep personal discovery, but you get the picture. I suspect this happens a great deal in parenting, couples wanting the best for their children... better than they had it. So, a plan forms as to how that can be and parents set about to make it happen. But, what about this developing spiritual human being? How does he determine what he wants to be when he grows up?
In my case, I began to live their dream... albeit reluctantly, rebelliously and with much difficulty. And it made me angry... I carried around a great deal of anger as a child and into my adult life. Even though I have lived a peaceful life these last several years, there has always been an undercurrent of anger and rage deep within my being. It only came out in flashes or in a look but it was there.
Last night I saw it though... And I journeyed on it. And I did Soul Recovery as well, getting back huge pieces of my Soul that had fractured off along the way. I am feeling better now... better able to see why many of the things I have been working through have occurred. Why I never seemed to truly be happy... Well, it all boils down to this. I am living my dream now. I am living for me and reuniting with my Authentic Self and in doing so have found happiness.
This latest discovery is a relief. I am continuing the soul recovery process, especially forgiveness and release focusing on my childhood and my parents. In doing so, I am seeing where “my story” was wrong. Because of the traumatic (to the Soul) experiences and resulting Soul piece loss, I was harboring a great deal of anger and resentment... Blame towards my parents. (I am so sorry Mom and Dad...). Over the years, this festered and boiled and was turned down to a simmer, but it was always there. Even now, looking back over the past several years, thinking that my relationship with my parents was really good, I can see that I haven’t been fully present with them. Deep in my sub-conscious, I always felt that I was letting them down if I tried to be me, especially now that I have so dramatically departed from their early dreams for me.
But what’s interesting is now all they want for me is to be happy... Well, I am going to have a much better time of it now that I am releasing this. Yay!
So as I continue to forgive and release, I am opening up and better able to see them for the beautiful and amazing parents they have been to me these 41 years. I love you dearly, Mom and Dad... Thank you... And I am feeling the lightness of being returning to me. I am feeling my Authentic Self and listening to my Guides. This healing was necessary for me to truly stand in the Light of my Being and I am grateful.
I am Living my Dream now... with Total Personal Responsibility I am Living my Dream.
Peace and Love
Marc
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Peace
Wow! I saw something tonight... another insight driven home with clarity and precision, brought on by a myriad of celestial circumstance culminating to crescendo, cascading... coursing cosmic awareness throughout my being. I have been a bit quiet this past week, reflective... releasing the past and continuing the purification.
Like the layers of the onion... more is revealed. These past years of dedicated study, practice and lifestyle changes has transformed my body and spirit, and is cleansing my mind of errant, erratic, erotic, erroneous, egotistical, egoic, economic, etc thoughts. What an amazing journey inward, with many astounding discoveries in every aware moment.
It was here all along, nothing has changed outside of me. Circumstances exist, situations occur, the way of the world is still the same, if not more intense recently, yet I have found a peace. I still am finding density, or darkness in my being and actively releasing as it comes up... Sometimes, getting stuck for a bit, but constantly progressing.
I am learning to Dance, to feel the natural rhythm and flow with it. Turns out, this is easy and the body feels at ease when aligned with all creation, harmonizing, it is an amazing sensation felt deeply to my core. In the Dance, there are ways to get unstuck and back into the flow, but I am learning that it is far better to keep a watchful eye so as to adjust or turn with proper timing.
It is all in the mind, I have discovered. It is the way my mind has been (literally) programmed. Plugged into the matrix of our society’s creation, intent on repressing my true nature and wanting of my intention to perpetuate it. Much of my happiness or unhappiness, sustained or fleeting, has been a product of my thinking. That thinking has been warped by a lifetime of polar experiences, and I must release myself from this programming to experience reality as it truly is... Divine.
Diligent and steadfast, I am awake and aware... conscious. I continue to do the work, I continue to learn, to Dance. Spectacular Creation is when truly considered, observed with reverence, I tune in Spirit and give thanks. I express my gratitude and pledge to walk softly on our Mother. To carry the medicine and respect the teachings... to listen to my inner child whose view is unobscured, fascinated and fresh.
The purification continues, battling my demons has taken on new meaning as I understand better what is happening. As one is released, another is revealed allowing for new healing and growth. I am the Light of this body and darkness will not reside within me. I am walking the path of peace, carrying purposeful intent towards a Loving and Kind life experience.
Like the layers of the onion... more is revealed. These past years of dedicated study, practice and lifestyle changes has transformed my body and spirit, and is cleansing my mind of errant, erratic, erotic, erroneous, egotistical, egoic, economic, etc thoughts. What an amazing journey inward, with many astounding discoveries in every aware moment.
It was here all along, nothing has changed outside of me. Circumstances exist, situations occur, the way of the world is still the same, if not more intense recently, yet I have found a peace. I still am finding density, or darkness in my being and actively releasing as it comes up... Sometimes, getting stuck for a bit, but constantly progressing.
I am learning to Dance, to feel the natural rhythm and flow with it. Turns out, this is easy and the body feels at ease when aligned with all creation, harmonizing, it is an amazing sensation felt deeply to my core. In the Dance, there are ways to get unstuck and back into the flow, but I am learning that it is far better to keep a watchful eye so as to adjust or turn with proper timing.
It is all in the mind, I have discovered. It is the way my mind has been (literally) programmed. Plugged into the matrix of our society’s creation, intent on repressing my true nature and wanting of my intention to perpetuate it. Much of my happiness or unhappiness, sustained or fleeting, has been a product of my thinking. That thinking has been warped by a lifetime of polar experiences, and I must release myself from this programming to experience reality as it truly is... Divine.
Diligent and steadfast, I am awake and aware... conscious. I continue to do the work, I continue to learn, to Dance. Spectacular Creation is when truly considered, observed with reverence, I tune in Spirit and give thanks. I express my gratitude and pledge to walk softly on our Mother. To carry the medicine and respect the teachings... to listen to my inner child whose view is unobscured, fascinated and fresh.
The purification continues, battling my demons has taken on new meaning as I understand better what is happening. As one is released, another is revealed allowing for new healing and growth. I am the Light of this body and darkness will not reside within me. I am walking the path of peace, carrying purposeful intent towards a Loving and Kind life experience.
A person’s present thoughts build his/her life of tomorrow;
a person’s life is the creation of his/her own mind.
The Buddha
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Purification
I recently experienced my first Sweat Lodge Ceremony, it was all about purification. Crawling into the womb of the mother, symbolically to be born anew after the cleanse... pure, refreshed and new. Tabula Rasa... a clean slate. Wow, what an experience.
Purposeful intent and prayer the theme for the men’s lodge that was poured by my brother. He spoke of tradition and the need to bring the ceremony into the light, to expose tradition for all to see at this time. To bring all together, as we are one, regardless of race, creed, heritage or belief. We all sat in the womb of the Mother in prayer. We shared words and song, healing and release... each of us battling our own demons, yet with a singularity of purpose and intent held steadfast by our presence together.
The darkness and heat as the stone people glowed in the center of our tiny space illuminated inner knowings... traumatic experiences locked in cellular memory receding as the vibrations of Love and Light brings us all to an expansive state. The darkness merely an illusion as the Light poured forth from our unity of intent and purpose. Purification occurred, as I crawled out of the opening into the chill night air every cell in my being vibrating. Densities still releasing as I stand by the once raging fire, now a bed of coals softly illuminating the essence of the surroundings.
There was peace as I stood there feeling my connection to Spirit; Love and Kindness radiating from my being. I am the embodiment of the Divine and Spirit works through me as a vessel to share Love with all creation. I see that so clearly now. I came face to face with my Authentic Self during Ceremony and I had a lot to say... Carry peaceful intentions always, Marc. Choose Love, not fear or any of its many derivatives. Do no harm... Be true to yourself, follow your path and walk it with integrity. Know yourself, Love yourself... Forgive yourself.
Much of what my brother spoke of in Lodge as he poured the water was about honoring all creation, living with nature, and prayer. It’s all about the prayer, and so we prayed. We prayed alone, we prayed together and in oneness we emerged.
To me, prayer is a state of consciousness... Yes, sometimes there are words or mantras, thoughts and intent, but the more I work with it, the more I see it is the calm, serene or tranquil place the mind gets to when it is at peace. When the mortgage payment isn’t looming or dinner for the kids or relationship issues don’t surface, the boss isn’t still placing demands on you... the list is endless if one gets wrapped up in it all... So, bring the prayer, bring peace and do it often.
Many of life’s experience has weighed heavily on me in the past. I have met much of my journey with resistance these forty some years. I am still learning. I still make mistakes. I still seek forgiveness and am constantly forgiving myself. I have found connections to the past that keep me from having a present authentic moment. And I am letting it all go...
Coming out of Lodge, I see the importance of Purification. I need to have purity in my life right now. I need to have the sacred intentions, as this is my life’s calling. My Authentic Self expressed in this form named Marc.
And now I pray... having purged much of the darkness that was a part of me, I pray. I pray ever vigilance to Truth in Higher Consciousness. I pray the darkness away... I pray forgiveness from past transgressions, I pray peace, I pray Love, Light, Beauty and Grace. I pray discernment. I pray healing and a health body, mind and spirit. I pray...
Peace and Love
Marc
Purposeful intent and prayer the theme for the men’s lodge that was poured by my brother. He spoke of tradition and the need to bring the ceremony into the light, to expose tradition for all to see at this time. To bring all together, as we are one, regardless of race, creed, heritage or belief. We all sat in the womb of the Mother in prayer. We shared words and song, healing and release... each of us battling our own demons, yet with a singularity of purpose and intent held steadfast by our presence together.
The darkness and heat as the stone people glowed in the center of our tiny space illuminated inner knowings... traumatic experiences locked in cellular memory receding as the vibrations of Love and Light brings us all to an expansive state. The darkness merely an illusion as the Light poured forth from our unity of intent and purpose. Purification occurred, as I crawled out of the opening into the chill night air every cell in my being vibrating. Densities still releasing as I stand by the once raging fire, now a bed of coals softly illuminating the essence of the surroundings.
There was peace as I stood there feeling my connection to Spirit; Love and Kindness radiating from my being. I am the embodiment of the Divine and Spirit works through me as a vessel to share Love with all creation. I see that so clearly now. I came face to face with my Authentic Self during Ceremony and I had a lot to say... Carry peaceful intentions always, Marc. Choose Love, not fear or any of its many derivatives. Do no harm... Be true to yourself, follow your path and walk it with integrity. Know yourself, Love yourself... Forgive yourself.
Much of what my brother spoke of in Lodge as he poured the water was about honoring all creation, living with nature, and prayer. It’s all about the prayer, and so we prayed. We prayed alone, we prayed together and in oneness we emerged.
To me, prayer is a state of consciousness... Yes, sometimes there are words or mantras, thoughts and intent, but the more I work with it, the more I see it is the calm, serene or tranquil place the mind gets to when it is at peace. When the mortgage payment isn’t looming or dinner for the kids or relationship issues don’t surface, the boss isn’t still placing demands on you... the list is endless if one gets wrapped up in it all... So, bring the prayer, bring peace and do it often.
Many of life’s experience has weighed heavily on me in the past. I have met much of my journey with resistance these forty some years. I am still learning. I still make mistakes. I still seek forgiveness and am constantly forgiving myself. I have found connections to the past that keep me from having a present authentic moment. And I am letting it all go...
Coming out of Lodge, I see the importance of Purification. I need to have purity in my life right now. I need to have the sacred intentions, as this is my life’s calling. My Authentic Self expressed in this form named Marc.
And now I pray... having purged much of the darkness that was a part of me, I pray. I pray ever vigilance to Truth in Higher Consciousness. I pray the darkness away... I pray forgiveness from past transgressions, I pray peace, I pray Love, Light, Beauty and Grace. I pray discernment. I pray healing and a health body, mind and spirit. I pray...
Peace and Love
Marc
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