Monday, May 3, 2010

the Buffalo Diaries has moved...

Hi Everyone...

I have moved the Buffalo Diaries to it’s new home over the weekend. All writing will be posted at the new website from now on.

Thank you for following along here and I hope you find your way over to the new home soon.

Blessings on your Journey.

Love and Kindness,

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Just doing...

I had no idea when I woke up this morning, I would be publishing a book today! But that is what happened... I am almost there. There wasn’t any thinking about it, nor is there now as I write this last entry in the Buffalo Diaries before going to print. That’s right, I am publishing these journals as my first book! Wow, is all I can say out loud at this moment. I wrote of my experience for three months and was told the other day that I would be publishing very soon. I thought Heroes of the Now would come out first, but not so...

This has been quite an experience... I am a little emotional as I write this, having completed something of Divine guidance. When I started writing these diaries, little did I know they would be my first book...

So, as this phase of my Journey comes to a close I feel light, free and filled with joy! I trust Creator and my Authentic Self to guide me as I continue. The next step is to publish the Buffalo Diaries so I am.

I have come to see in my experience that we have all that we need to do whatever we want in this life. If we are ever-present, conscious and aware we create the space to be. And that is what is precious, the true gift. As I have come to know my Authentic Self, I see that Love and Kindness is my True Nature and anything other than is indication that something is amiss. Go after it, I do, with great fervor... relentless in my pursuit of the Truth, I continue.

And therein is the key... To continue.

My responsibility is to myself, to remain true to my Authentic Being. If I do this, I am aligned with all Creation and carry Love and Kindness to all situations and experiences. This is the gift we all could share if we wanted to. It is accessible to all and quite honestly will likely become the necessary route for all of humanity. Forgiveness and release would cleanse humankind like no other experience we have collectively experienced. If everybody took total personal responsibility for every thought, word or action they had ever created in any lifetime, reality or dimension and in any state of consciousness the world would be a different place. Perhaps heaven on earth... Can we make it so?

I now think so... I have experienced healing on a level only described as miraculous. Love and kindness, along with the forgiveness and release is the access point, but the depth to which we seek is our own. Each of us willing to go as far as we might on any given day or in any given moment. And what we see is our own as well. We see what we want to see... Ask for the Truth and it is shown. Accept the lies and the world becomes a dark and resistive place.

I choose Creation, Light and Love! I follow the energy, my Authentic Self at the helm, the Journey continues... the Buffalo Diaries, like myself will move and change... develop and grow, never striving for anything, rather listening for the grass breathing, as the wind whispers and the rain clouds gather... There is a storm outside, yet a calm is here in my presence. I am in my purpose and I proceed with the knowing that this is what I am to do.

And so I continue, as the Raven spoke a week ago. As I listen and act, shortening the time lag between guidance and movement I notice that things are speeding up. Density... slowness is a symptom, signaling the need to build the light and speed the frequency up, to move faster than fast as the fractals emerge. Brilliant bright shining white light is other than dense... and I am that, so I move with all Creation...

Thank you all for reading and providing comments and feedback. I am excited to see where this leads and what new discoveries await as the next phase of my life and the Buffalo Diaries comes to be... if you care to follow along, the Buffalo Diaries will soon be hosted at

Love and Kindness, Marc

Monday, April 19, 2010


Well, Little Hawk was intended for another. Welcome, to this new energy and I am honored to be able to pass on the information. It is a humbling experience to be in the presence of Creator and speak words on their behalf. Blessings to Little Hawk...

Today, the birds are back. They were conspicuously absent from the yard yesterday when I awoke and stepped outside for my morning tea. There was much to clear and shed light on yesterday, a darkness surrounding the outskirts of our presence. Much was illuminated and many discoveries made. Such is the nature of soul retrieval. When something is off, we go after it... Look for the source, so as to get the energy back and seal the crack.

As the day progressed, my partner, Deva and I continued to stay present and alert, sensing the swirling fractals of experience and calling our power back from situations where it had been lost. We discovered what was needed and did the work, staying present for one another as the cords and attachments were released and all the black magic spells and curses were broken. I was working on healing a sense of betrayal and manipulation, forgiving and releasing more insight into the situation appeared as it was being released. I came to see the outcome of another’s will being expressed or projected onto me and my surroundings. It was palpable and very controlling, however subtly so.

We contemplated obligation vs. highest good and what that meant, discovering the importance of remaining true to one’s Higher Consciousness. That is how we live. We listen, discern and move with Creator, staying aligned with and acting only upon those experiences that are for our highest good. When obligation comes in, resonating with such a different frequency, what does one do? It causes friction, and one tends to suborn their Higher Consciousness. It is true, what is in one’s highest good may not be the same for another and true brothers and sisters on the path will understand that. Clear, compassionate communication is necessary in these situations and much Love and Kindness; all must allow each to be and express themselves to a collaborative resolution.

This is what Love does...

Love is acceptance and gratitude, deep resonant Truth in the face of all. Love restores everything to the natural order and perfect balance with all Creation. Love allows all to be, with forgiveness and release.

The birds returned again, a big flock of them are in the yard right now! Singing and talking, they are picking away at the detritus in the yard, recycling energy for the natural order. Yay!!! Thank you, Creator!

How does one carry the light that they are into the world? Shining so bright and standing in Truth can be intimidating and overpowering for others who may be facing their own challenges in expressing their own Light and Authenticity. What does one do? Is it appropriate to “tone it down” for the audience? I think not... I compromised my energy many times in my life and all it did was strip me of my power and suborned my Higher Consciousness. I did what was other than for my highest good, I suppressed my expression and that took me down other inauthentic timelines of experience.

I have spent the last three years healing from this experience and come to know that I must continually strive to be the very best human being I can possibly be... I must follow my Higher Self, allowing the guides and the rhythm of the Universe to lead the way. In restoring balance to myself and acting with integrity, I authentically move through each of life’s experiences with Love and Kindness. This has created a peaceful energy and sanctuary around me. It works!

It is apparent that it is working because my life is filled with abundance... Love, Health, Wealth and Happiness. The natural order of All that Is and I am in flow with it in my life. And it shows... Our light shines bright, we are in right relations, we are happy and joyous. We dance, we sing and we celebrate. We are free.

And so I have come to see that suppressing energy for any reason is other than the light. It is manipulative and controlling. We are all come to this Earth to express Love and Kindness; to be one with Creator in physical form. As this happens, as our beingness comes into alignment with all Creation we have access to vast resources. We are in flow with all of the Universe and the order, once restored, brings us to the right place at the right time and there is nothing to do, but just be.

This was an uncomfortable feeling for me when I was first starting out... Believing in myself enough to flow, rather than control, manipulate and strategize. I remember that and understand why it is uncomfortable. But I sit here now and say, please work with those feelings so as to allow the Light that you are to shine. You are a Light Being in human form and the planet is in transition. We are evolving into higher frequencies of Light as foretold by many far and wide.

So, it’s uncomfortable... Many things in this life have been uncomfortable and yet, I survived and got better at it... When learning to walk as a child, I tried, toppled over, laughed and got back up again. This is the experience... We are learning to walk again before we can fly. We are learning to release all the holds of the old ways to create something so new as to have never been seen before. All the great thinkers and sages of their day were looked at with suspicion. The masses viewed the outliers with separation and ignorance. They were not having the same experience. The visionaries were out in front, leading the way... the scouts for the new route, we are testing paths of consciousness to determine their efficacy towards cultivating the Loving Timeline.

I am seeing a rewriting of the human story. The mythology of the past has become far outdated and frankly has ceased to function for humanity today. We are in search of a new Hero’s Journey, as Joseph Campbell would say and I have come to see the Truth in this. There are many who are forging the way, releasing the traditions of the past, so as to have a greater clarity and ability to listen. We are dowsing the way, but must be crystal clear in our being to know the Truth. Every step along the way, a discovery of that to be release so the Journey can continue.

We are here to bear witness to each other’s challenge and support and grow as we transmute the very foundation that reality has been created in. Those that are willing to postulate that there is something different and test the hypothesis are visionary beings in troubled times. They are out there and I commend their efforts. All of our efforts, during this time of transformation are necessary if we are to proceed onto the Loving Timeline. Much personal effort and growth mark the inspired one; they know it is difficult and never give up even though they may falter.

And whatever place you are on your journey know that there is support all around you. You are one with all Creation and Creator is there for you.

We are here for each other to support one another when and how we can, to stay aligned to individual sovereignty and grow... always grow, the time for dallying on the trail is over. Constant forward movement as the frequency quickens we must learn to move faster than fast to stay in the flow. Light and Love are faster vibrations, follow them and leave the density behind. Release anything that is impeding the flow and sovereignty returns. Be in the Truth and all is revealed...

I now take total personal responsibility for all my thoughts, words and actions I have created in any lifetime, any dimension or reality and in all forms of consciousness. I am the light of this body, the universal one, beyond the mind I am that complete radiant One.

I shine the brilliance of my Light and share my Love with all Creation, forgiving and releasing all the past I step into this moment, completely as I am...

Listening for the beat, I step into my frame and Dance...

Love and Kindness,

Friday, April 16, 2010

Little Hawk

It happened the other day. I was working with my teacher and two other Shaman. It was pretty intensive, we were clearing a house and then going to work on one of us. In our line of work, there is much that can get stuck on us, as well as our own stuff that we are clearing. So one of us was going to benefit from the other three. I learned that day just how synergistic our light and power could be when working together. Pulling demons and entities out, dismantling programs, removing layer upon layer of ethereal goo, when he sat up and exclaimed, I am being born! I am a Native American! I need a name... Little Hawk popped into my voice and I spoke it. By his remarks and laying back down I knew it wasn’t for him and he didn’t mention it after that during the remainder of the session.

Now, I admit I have been seeing something unfold here and may have even written about it in the past. But, that moment I wondered if it was for me. I am deepening my roots, and my practice has become very powerful. I knew it that day. Working together the four of us, I worked in 2 sessions and the light returned to each was astounding. The work works I remember hearing in a dream or vision, but I was seeing it before my eyes yet again, but this time the healing power amplified tremendously by our combined efforts.

It was an awesome day and I, too received a healing. It was a week ago and I have been really lit up. Things are flowing effortlessly and much energy is moving. I know who I am and I stand fearless in the face of darkness that may want to prevent me from seeing this dream to fruition. I stand tall for my free will to choose and I choose the Light.

Earlier this week, I wrote the Breakthrough Letter for my book and published it at and have been writing a guided Journey to Remembering there as well. Much is moving in the area of Creation. We even have a dance floor on our back patio! Awesome...

Yesterday I began to work on my book and this afternoon, I was printing the semi-final draft! It is so close... Next for some galley proofs to be shipped out... I went to meditate upon the energy of what had transpired in the past several days and culminated this afternoon. I went in really, really deep and the buffalo spirit came to me. I remembered that he was there that healing day a week ago. And we spoke. He told me things. Little Hawk was indeed an energy about me or me... that part I think my mind is interpreting, so I will check more with my guides. However, the name is for me to understand. I did hand write it below my name on the cover of the book before I could even think about it, there it was in gold ink... Along with the 2-week Journey and the Buffalo Diaries, i guess I am supposed to publish these with the galley proofs... so I will. Still gonna hold off on the name until I understand it better.

Then it happened...

I was deep in meditation, when the hit came in... stealth it was on me before I had a chance to prepare. I was in such a vulnerable place in my sanctuary, I thought I was safe. It was severe and took two remote Shaman an hour to help me clear myself and the house. Then another hour on my own to even begin to feel like I could continue writing.

But I know... Whenever I have been this close before something came in to derail the progress. Not this time, I knew what to do in calling immediately for assistance and saved myself days, if not weeks of repair. So, it is over and done, everything cleared and I am still on the Loving Timeline! Awesome!

So, here goes... Heroes of the Now is almost finished, the galley proofs are the litmus and they are right there in front of me. I just need to align with their arrival and the rest is done... It is all coming to pass, just as I saw it...

Loving Kindness,
the Buffalo Diaries

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

the Raven

I just did ceremony around the house, offering tobacco at the four corners of the property. At each corner, as well as the gates and doorways, I said a prayer with purposeful intent to the four directions. I asked the Spirits, Guides and Helpers to protect our house and family. To only allow the highest and best good to pass through and into our space. I intend to create and hold a sacred space around the entirety of our house and grounds, a sanctuary from the outside world where only Love and Kindness exist.

As I was finishing, Raven came to me and perched. He spoke of many things and showed me much wisdom that I already had. He told me to believe in myself, my intuition and to continue on the path I am aligned with. He said all would be, just as it is supposed to be and there would be abundance and joy in the coming days. Remain present and clear, as the time is approaching to step fully into a new experience, he shared. He flew into my heart and swept it clear of residual fears and doubt, opening an even greater understanding of my practice. He showed me things...

Continue, was his last word...

And so I do, following the beat of my heart in unison with the rhythm of All that Is.

Shining the Light of my Clarity, I steady my frame, see the moves, feel the beat and move...

Love and Kindness,


check out where I have been guiding a 2-week journey to remembering...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Heroes of the Now

I have been the flow, calling in my teacher he returned to Sedona on the spur of the moment. Deepening the work and bringing a client over today for a first session, much is happening.

My book has spiraled back into now and I have created a website and Facebook Fan Page to support the next phase. I am also documenting a 2-week guided Journey to remembering. Today is day 4, so come on over to Heroes of the Now and participate!

Before I go write day 4 of the Journey, I want to share this brief experience with Synchronicity...

I had an opportunity to travel with my Brother and Sister on their Journey to Three Rivers to visit our teacher, Blue Cloud. A part of me, my mind, wanted to go. However, when I checked the energy there was a firm no go. So, I stayed and supported by phone as they had their experience. While I was home, I had some amazing insights and releases leading up to a HUGE shift in my being on Sunday morning.

I was taking a bath, a place where much meditation and journey work occurs for me and I was given a download. I was shown many things and given instruction on the next steps. The Heroes of the Now website, fan page and blog were all borne from that download. Towards the end of the experience in the bath, I had the deep knowing that I needed to see my teacher. It was so strong that it created its own momentum and I started to visualize how it would happen... To a certain extent, my logical mind took over and started to plan out how to make it happen. The phone rang about that time, but I didn’t answer it. I continued my planning, getting out of the bath and mapping my route to Three Rivers on the bike. There would be too days travel either way and I wanted to spend 3 days with him... seven days. How was I going to make that work? I didn’t know, but I just trusted that all would come together.

Shortly after I had fully committed to a Journey to Three Rivers I looked at the phone and saw that it was Blue Cloud who called... He was coming to Sedona and would arrive Monday night...

The rest of the day Sunday and Monday I followed my guidance, working on the projects diligently. When my teacher arrived, it became very clear what is happening and why I was guided to do what I was doing... at the end of the evening, I was driving Blue Cloud back to his place, we were discussing the happenings around us and I had a vision. As I shared what I saw, out the front windshield we both witnessed a long shooting star cross the horizon. I know... The best place for me right now is right here and I accept. I do the work... I create.

And so the Journey does continue, even though there is no travel I am moving with the rhythm of the Universe and I am free...

So, click here and become one of the Heroes of the Now, bringing consciousness to Humanity during these transformational times.

Love and Kindness,

the Buffalo Diaries

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I Forgive

There was a lie, a life-altering lie that began so long ago. I am doing the work to let it go and forgive those that were involved. They only wanted what was best for me, I understand but the energy perpetuated by the lie shaped my life. I didn’t know about it until about 10 years ago, then when I did come to know it was because I asked, then almost forgotten until recently again... Hmmmm... Sounds familiar... Sounds like a soul retrieval coordinate... So, I went in...

I remember many years ago, commenting to myself, my ex-wife and my parents that I was living a lie. It was at a time where my marriage was really in a bad way and I was very unhappy in that victim role. But what was coming to the surface were the sensations that something wasn’t right. I was a liar... I spoke other than the Truth and watched as it manifested all around me. What I know now is that I was fully immersed in a lie the whole time and I didn’t know it. When I asked about it 10 years ago and was told it started to release its hold on me and thus began a 10-year Journey to unravel the Truth and reclaim my sovereignty.

The one thing that stands out for me in my past is that I was unable to speak my Truth. But that was supported and reinforced so as I continued to interact with the world, I would go very quickly to the lie. Energetically the Truth holds a vibration of Love, much different from the frequency of fear, which is where the ability to consciously speak other than the Truth comes from. So, I lived in fear, surrounded by it, at times heavier than others but there always. I had no idea until just yesterday the impact this had on me.

At the core of my being I was reinforced with the energy of fear and taught that lying was an acceptable solution, albeit the preferred solution. That complete suppression of my Truth was the preferred way to be and I would likely get further along and be more successful in “Life” should I adopt this way of being. I did... And the rest is history as they say... Until Now. This is not history, I am making history... laying down the experience and in this case setting it straight. No more lie for me... I am free! I speak my Truth, clearly and consciously with Love and Kindness I stand in the Truth.

And so I heal... I do the work around this experience, being shown it so to get my power and Soul Pieces back from it. To illuminate the darkness it created and heal. In living this life, Creator wants to express through me... through all of us really, and by living in an other than the Truth way I was unable to express the True Essence of my being.

Love and Kindness, that is what I am. Joy and Bliss immaculate, I am. Forgiveness, I am.

I let it all go... In this moment I consciously affirm my Loving intent to Forgive and Release this entire Timeline. I take total personal responsibility for all my thoughts, words and actions and I cancel all contracts, vows and agreements that go against my highest good. I call back all my power and sovereignty, lost, taken or given away from this experience. I release all parties caught up in the lie and forgive them all with Love and Kindness. From the depth of my being and deep within my Soul, I forgive...

There is no moment before now, just memories... history. I can change that in the blink of an eye. I can stop being attached to it so it affects my beingness now, and I do so. It is done, it is forgiven and I can move on.

Opening my eyes I see a brighter space around me and the birds are singing... There is Love in the air. Creator is expressing through me and I can feel it with all my senses, deep into my bones it goes and springs forth. I am so Happy! The Truth has set me free...

I take a moment and close my eyes again looking to see if there is anything left to see and it is gone. The veil lifted and the illusion seen in the Light of the Truth. It is good...

I am moving consciously into new territory these days, standing in the Light that I am. As I get further down the path, my steadiness begins to grow and what was once unsure footing is now rock solid. I am standing firmly rooted in my being... and tests have come to show me that I am, so I continue. I am discovering me and allowing me to be discovered. Self-empowerment through direct experience is bringing about the desired results.

I asked for this... My soul steadily working with me until I remembered, then guiding me to the Truth, the healing and the Love. And now, my Soul is shining bright in this body vessel for all to see, the two well aware of one another and assisting each other on the Journey.

I have reconnected to my book, Heroes of the Now and am setting about to finish it. Excerpts will be up soon, and a website. I am very excited. As this day begins, I understand why I was awoken at 4:00 this morning. I needed to complete the process and spend that last couple of hours completely clearing from yesterday and the past. Their was unresolved stuff that I needed to move through so as to fully embrace what is coming in for me now. 2 hours of deep Forgiveness and Release is a wonderfully empowering way to spend the morning.

So, the ending becomes the beginning and I rise with the dawn of a new day and begin to create...

Love and Kindness,

Friday, April 2, 2010

the Little Boy

There is this chair that I remember from being a little boy... It is a small rocking chair that I sat in at my Grandparents house in when I was just a wee little being. Did I say small? Well, it is... From my limited experience with children I would guess that 3 or 4 years would be the oldest a child would be to be able to sit in it. It is rather plain, unremarkable to look at really, but it turns out to be a powerful object.

It was purchased in 1855 for my dad’s great great grandfather and from that time, all the lineage of men in the Titus family have sat in that chair... including me. Now, I have to say the magnitude of this particular revelation didn’t fully dawn on me until last night, yet I have been doing the work that allowed for me to see for many, many years. There is a flood of memories that are coming back, all the synchronicity remembered... But there is one memory that kept coming up.

My mom used to say to me... “you can break the cycle...” and now I can see what she was priming me for. I am breaking the cycle.

I have had this chair in my possession now for many years. It has had a stigma attached to it for me though... there was always a pressure that I would have a child that would sit in that chair. It came from my family mostly, in those early years after I got married, but really there was a pressure to have children to one extent or another. But it never felt right to me, so I never did... And now I can see why...

There is a lineage that needs to be healed before that could ever happen and I saw it last night. This chair physically links me to 6 generations of males in my family... There is no mention of girls in the history, and I guess there were none... I’ll have to ask.

So, in 1855 my great great great grandfather and grandmother purchased this chair for their little boy. In their parenting, they would be influenced heavily by their upbringing so the strong link continues to their parents making my linkage with this chair going back to my great great great great grandparents (over 200 years)... Wow... and so I have been shown what needed to be done.

I am here to heal this family lineage... Turns out, both sides of my family actually. I am perfectly positioned at this time to do the work that effects my entire family line, mother and father’s side. I understand now... I am to bring balance and wholeness back into the world, healing 200 years of slow metamorphosis towards a masculine dominated family unit. A slow and insidious movement from the Divine Feminine to a more logical and controlling dominance over nature is what has happened to humanity. And I have seen this in my family experience that has culminated with me.

I always said that I didn’t want to bring a child into this world as it is. And I didn’t, but now I see how that can heal and change. That healing happens with me. I was unwilling to perpetuate a cycle that has been other than good for the planet as a whole. And now I see that right before my very eyes when I look at this chair. It holds a place of honor now...

I realize that every Titus male that has sat in that chair had come across the veil in a purposeful way, choosing the Titus Family to embody their Soul Signature for a purpose. To share Love and Kindness, to be the embodiment of Creator and carry that forward onto Mother Earth. To create Heaven on Earth through thoughts, words and actions. And they all sat in this chair, Soulful energy bright and untainted by the illusion perpetuated by fear, greed, anger, etc. There I sat. In that chair, sat beings who were clear, luminescent and bright... As they aged and began to take on the “issues of the day”, the chair remained clear as they would have been too large to sit in it any more. Eventually, the chair moved out of the way... placed in storage and passed down through each generation.

As it was brought forward again, an opportunity for another Soul to bring it through. To carry the frequency of Love throughout their physical life, to stand up for the light and break the cycle. This chair carries such Light and I admit that I had issues with it before I could see just how pure it really is. But that is what I am here to do. I have been shown that and I am doing that. I am the one I have been waiting for...

Thomas Banyaca Sr. (1910-1999); Speaker of the Wolf, Fox and Coyote Clan, and Elder of the Hopi Nation.
It is time to speak your truth. Create your community, Be good to each other.Do not look outside yourself for a leader. There is a river flowing now very fast, It is so great and swift.
There are those who will be afraid, They will try to hold onto the shore. They will feel they are being pulled apart, And will suffer greatly.

Understand that the river knows its' destination, The elders say we must let go of the shore. Push off into the middle of the river, Keep our eyes open and our heads above water. And I say; see who is in there with you, Hold fast to them and celebrate!

At this time in history, We are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves!For the moment we do, Our spiritual growth and journey comes to an end.

The Time of the Lone Wolf is over! Gather yourselves! Banish the word 'struggle' from Your attitude and vocabulary. All that we do now must be done, In a sacred manner and in celebration.We are all about to go on a journey, We are the one's we have been waiting for!
In this knowing, I have broken the cycle...

I am to do the work that heals myself, my family, my ancestors... I am the one to show the way. I am the one who has remembered. I am Love and Kindness, I am that vibration that matches the Universal One and so to my family all of creation. Remember?

So I continue to do the work that heals and heal generations while doing so. I am realigning to Creation, connecting to my original blueprint... the energy that I brought forward into this dimension when I chose this body, these parents and grandparents. I am seeing the Truth and it brings freedom. Love is all around me and I am Love. Embodying that brings forth an entirely different beingness than I carried throughout most of my life... I like it!!!!

I look at this chair now and I remember sitting in it. The little boy with the Old Soul, gently taking it all in... Such wonder and amazement expressed, Joy and Bliss. I remember... Before the body developed or the ego was formed, I remember. And, as those who came before, I grew out of the chair and began to forget.

But I remember now...
I take a deep breath, center and begin to rock...

Love and Kindness,

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Coming Home...

In the face of it all, I ask myself how I want to be? What do I want to carry with me on my Journey? Why do I do what I do and Who am I? I am the embodiment of the Original Creator, my actions, words and thoughts are aligned with Creator and I am the Light of this Body. Fear and Love on the spectrum of vibration are markedly different in tone. Creation is the vibration of Love, other than Creation is the vibration of Fear.

I am aware of Anti-Creation energy, what it feels like, sounds like, tastes like... How my body senses it. It is a clenching, a holding that stifles Creation. When I walk outside or sit here as I write, I have an overwhelming wonder of it all. I am present with the energy of Creation and my body, mind and spirit align to joy and miraculous happenings. There is only the One. All comes from the One and All returns to the One. In Beauty I walk with Creation, harmonious, balanced and free.

I release all affiliations to beings, entities, gods and goddesses, traditions and religions... all things created by the mind of man that go against Creation. I release all connections to thoughts, words and actions that are other than Love and Kindness. I let it all go, and turn myself over to the Original Creator of All That Is. I am being shown all the times, throughout all lifetimes where I turned myself over to something other than Creator and it is time to release those attachments. They no longer serve my highest and best good, perhaps never serving my highest and best good, but no matter I release them all. I am here and now and I can see the Truth.

I am the Light of this Body,
The Universal One,
Beyond the Mind,
I am a complete Radiant Being.

What did Creator intend and what are we here to do that we couldn’t do in etheric form? Why are we having the experiences that we are? Why is there so much Fear and Loathing in the World today and why is it mongered to the masses in steady streams? Why are the masses presented with such Anti-Creation energy through all the media outlets throughout the World? Why do most blindly accept this to be the true reality?

Love and Kindness is the energy of Creation. When I stand with the energy of the morning and tune my senses beyond the mind, I come to see the Love all around in Nature. It has been asked before... Do the Winged People, the Four-Legged People, the Tree People, the Stone People... Does Nature abhor Creation as Human has come to? Why have we as a species, for the most part, come to press our illusion upon Creation itself? Taking from our Mother Earth more than we need, yet there is so much suffering in the World today. There are so many that perceivably are living in lack... To be sure there is much that Humanity on the whole supports that goes against Creation.

Yet, as I sit here with the window open I hear the birds singing joyously to the rays of the Sun. They are singing Creation songs in earnest, just for the sake of celebration. There is joy in their hearts... I watched the other day as a little bird was playing on my car. That beautiful little bird was hopping back and forth between the lower rim of my side mirror and the top... As I watched, in wonder this little creation seemed to be looking in the mirror... and singing. Back and forth, back and forth. Catching a glimpse of itself each time it perched on the lower rim, then falling away from it’s precarious perch to take the short flight to the top, then back again.

It did this on the drivers side, then flew over to the passenger side and continued this action. As though this little bird, content and joyous, was celebrating its perfect reflection of Creator through it’s actions. At that moment, back and forth on the mirror, seeing its perfect reflection of Creators Loving intent it sang. A beautiful and unique song of Love, this little bird sang and it filled my heart with joy and brought a smile to my face.

When I look in the mirror, this is what I want to see. The reflection is Creation itself. When I look around me I see Creation and I sing. Creation is life, empowering and nurturing this energy is the vibration of Love, the vibration of the Universe. I allow this frequency to permeate all aspects of my being, my life, my experiences. I allow this vibration to flow through me and to work through me as Creator intended. I share Love and Kindness... Love is all there is... Look behind anything and what do you find? Love.

Love is the energy and vibration of the Universe... Love is the Source of all Creation.

Love is the spark within that ignites the cleansing fire of purification. Love allows all to be equal, free and responsible. Love endures... Love breaks down the barriers placed by fear, embracing wholeness it seeks peace and unity.

I feel as though I am being drawn back to something... coming home I rejoice!

Love and Kindness,

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I am dancing the Dance of Life now, having released many major blockages the other day. It is not over, to be sure but I am gaining ground fast these past several days. My clarity is strong, my intuition my guide and Love and Kindness my way. Stuff still comes up to be released, but it went very easily. I reclaimed a very important and key piece of my Soul signature the other night and it shows in my being.

My work is getting stronger, seeing is becoming easier and there is a general ease about me that I hadn’t had before. I have and continue to see All That Is... It is flowing through me as I stay clear and in my light. I am allowing the guidance to come and I listen. In the stillness, it comes... the knowing of. And as I gain my strength and power, there are challenges and many ways to manage them. I have chosen Love and Kindness. I claim and maintain my sovereignty. I know what is best for me right now and I see where I may falter if I engage in certain situations.

In this sensitivity, I have noticed that there are triggers that activate in me deep programming and I have had the propensity to slip into a different state of being when encountering those triggers. Also, I have noticed that what was a trigger in the past has little effect on me once I have done the work around it. Yay! There is a way to be free! Forgiveness and Release... Love and Kindness... These are the tools I needed for the journey. These monikers instruct to let it all go and radiate the Love that is the Source of all Creation. To embody the vibration of Love and activate parts of my being that had been dormant for so long.

Well, I acknowledge that this has been an arduous journey, but I have said many times it is worth it. The relentless pursuit of the Truth brings about Freedom. I am in better health and wellness than I have ever been in my life. My 20 year old dance teacher took me for a 25 year old and was shocked by my age in years. My mind is clear and the toxic emotions, thoughts and voices that once ruled the roost are at bay. I have acknowledged much about myself and sought to understand me. What I found is wonderful and I know how to stay true on this path. The journey has presented many things along the way that have been moved with Love. Much darkness faced and dispelled by just Loving more.

When I see a potential trigger I look at what is happening with the energy and ask Creator what is in my highest and best good. In the stillness comes that answer and I listen. Oftentimes, triggers present themselves right after a release and return of big life-changing Soul Energy. In my case, I have been doing some big work and just released a major blockage that had been holding me back for most of my life. So, I am sensitive now. I just received a piece of me back that I haven’t seen or experienced in so long. I need time to integrate and come to know and understand this part of me. During this time, I must surround myself with like-minded, like-energy people, places and things... experiences. Walking into the shadow of what I just released and am healing is self-sabotage and an alignment with the dark. I am Light and Love incarnate. Darkness identified in me is to be released immediately without pause or question because that is what my Authentic Self wants and that is why I am here. To heal...

So much to heal I understood yesterday morning as my Brother Joseph and I shared a Lakota Pipe Ceremony at Shaman’s Cave. My physicality in this dimension is so to act out the experiences necessary to cleanse my Soul Energy. In doing so, I am contributing to the health and well-being of All That Is. This is the Truth. It comes to me that we, human beings were never meant to go down the path that we did, but somehow we forgot a long time ago who we really were. Humanities choices on a mass consciousness scale, manipulated by the dark forces of power, envy, greed, lust, anger, fear and hatred, has brought us to a precipice. It is all right here before us if we choose to see. And so there is much to heal, I know... and I know that healing myself is the way to contribute to the healing of All That Is.

I have made my choice... I stand for the Light. I stand for Love. This is my choice, final answer. The internal debate has ceased and that bridge has been crossed. I am on the side of Light.

One must choose for themselves where their alignment is. Personal choice and free will requisite for the journey, one will come to many challenges that require discernment, trust and inner guidance. But the choice must be made... There has been acceptance, I have observed the “way things are” and a general malaise regarding personal spiritual growth. But it seems as though things are shifting. People are awakening and beginning to see. Choices are being made and those that are aligning to the Light are experiencing a number of life-changing things. For all people this time is one of vibrational shift and it brings clarity if one allows it. It is a process, every individual different in their experience, but thematically there is common ground.

The old ways are rooted in darker frequencies, were developed under dark regimes and have perpetuated suffering throughout the world for thousands of years. They other than worked for spiritual growth and access to the Divine. Well, that is what is happening right now, spiritual growth... So they don’t work and I am letting it all go. I have chosen and understand now that in my blissful ignorance of the past, in not choosing to see back then I lost all my power and the choice was made for me... I was plugged in, just another part of the mass consciousness guided by slower vibrations.

In choosing the Light, I have become devoutly steadfast in my highest and best good. I am listening to the guidance from my higher consciousness and it is leading me farther away from the old ways. I am less able to relate to people, places and things... experiences that are rooted in those old ways. There is less energy to relate within and often there is very little to say if it is an experience relating to people. So, I have found myself going within... Staying present, conscious and aware. When I am faced with a trigger, something that tries to pull me back into my own connections to the past and the old ways, I am ultra-sensitive. The energy I have worked so hard to get back is so fresh, like a baby new... I must protect it as the new being it truly is. The allure of the old ways a strain on my newly returned energy and so I choose to limit my exposure.

In doing so, I realize that I am certain that this is the right thing for me now. I am certain that my spiritual growth and Freedom is my number one priority and I am taking steps to strengthen my new ways of being. I am finding experiences that are reinforcing the new ways and I embrace those fully. I am less inclined to just go out... When I do it is with purposeful intent that I do so and when I do I share Love with all Creation. The Muses, my Guides and Helper Spirits are all around me and I release myself to Creator that I may be a vessel filled with Love. That I may think, speak and act with Love and Kindness in all situations.

This is my destiny, this is what I chose and this is what I am...

Love and Kindness,

Friday, March 26, 2010


I am Love and Kindness,
I feel Love and Kindness,
I share Love and Kindness,
I Love myself completely,
I Love all that I am,
I Love all Creation...

Today I mourn the loss of my innocence. It was taken from me gradually, slowly and insidiously with great resistance on my part. It was by design... A part of the world we live in, resonant with the vibration of mass consciousness. Fit in to the societal norms and expectations and to do so meant the loss of much of my Authentic Soul Energy. I was born into this world with the knowledge of different things. That perfect balance of Yin/Yang, masculine/feminine, harmonious to the natural way of things.

Now I see how it happened and understand why... And so it can heal.

There was a trigger yesterday that brought on emotions... I lost consciousness and later realized I had been taken over by an angry little boy acting out through my physicality. I took total personal responsibility for my thoughts, words and actions during that time and I began to see what was happening. I was being given an opportunity to look into the depths of my life experience to understand why I was having the emotional response and subsequent acting out.

I was led back to very early childhood experiences and memories. I saw the programming taking place. Playgrounds, daycare, Kindergarten, all revealed more to see. I remember being met with disapproval, disdain, uncertainty by others. I didn’t seem to fit in... Something about what I was doing didn’t match the frequency of society. I do see now that all children are truly creators in awe of it all. The discoveries and insights blessings of each moment understood by the Soul dominated being.

Some time along the way, things started to change. Socialization is something I remember from psychology or sociology classes. The conforming of the being to societal norms, expectations, rules, etc. I was shown my early experiences with this process of conformation in vivid detail this morning, I saw myself in the school setting, not understanding why I couldn’t align with what I was being taught, but getting a tremendous amount of disapproval if not doing the “right” things.

Everything about that time was about fitting in... I didn’t, until I did. And therein lies the trauma. When I gave in I turned against Creation. When I rolled over and started to dutifully participate in the system is when the fracture occurred. I experienced the pain of it all again this morning as my angry little boy showed me all that I needed to see. I watched as I fought against it... Tried to explain that it wasn’t for me. That what I wanted or needed to learn for my highest and best good wasn’t the teachings I was receiving. I didn’t want to plug into those ways, but as a child needing approval I began to do what it took. Fracture...

So I went against creation and that is what traumatized my Soul. I lost a tremendous amount of power as a result and it created a giant hole in my being. As I continued towards membership in the herd I saw that by conforming in school I began to conform with those around me. When I didn’t, I had no friends... when I did there were other kids around me. But I did things that were not for my highest good and I made choices that weren’t of the Loving frequency. I did this early on to fit in and was tortured as a result. That is what it feels like when going against creation. Torture.

As that was happening, I saw that the ones I thought I could turn to and trust completely weren’t really there for me. Both working professionals and also plugged in, my experiences must have been really challenging for them. Night terrors, demons and darkness... monsters under the bed are experiences that I remember. There was coaching and guidance to follow the path of instruction being provided to me in school, that was the most important thing.

I saw the times that I came home from school and cried, the fracturing of my soul so painful as I struggled internally about giving in to it all. There was so much going on and I saw it all, the angry little boy exposing the entire timeline for me to heal. I asked why he was angry... and he revealed that he felt betrayed. The illusion or societal matrix was not real and he knew it, but he/I didn’t have the strength to fight it any longer and I failed at that time to stay in my Authentic Being. He wasn’t heard, nor supported to the level that he was seeing. He admitted he was angry and thus projecting blame on people, places and events.

I was told in that moment to forgive and release it all, yet I still struggled. I was mourning still, however as the physical discomforts of the release subsided I began to take leadership and started to ask what this angry little boy needed to forgive and heal. He needed to be heard... He needed for me to listen to him and understand that he knew things about things I am soon to discover. He wanted to be heard then in a context that was not allowed and I told him that I was stronger now, more mature and that it was safe to come home. I told him that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes, that I would continue to retrieve all my power and Authentic Energy until I was whole and complete as Creator originally intended. That I would carry the light into myself to reveal more of me that has been hidden from my being... To heal those dark places.

As I listened, tears of joy, grief, sadness, despair, hope and finally to Love and Kindness streamed down my face a river of relief, forgiveness and release I held the timeline in my hands. That’s correct, I held the entire energetic timeline in my hands vibrant and alive pulsing with the frequency of the healing. Waves of emotion ran through me as I healed this Soul Piece one of this biggest on this path of redemption. I have to forgive. I am forgiveness and compassion, I forgive and release myself.

So I went deep and continue to go deeper still as the timeline in my hands heals. I must forgive, for myself and this angry little boy all the experiences on this timeline where I went against my highest and best good.

It is so as I say it to be so. Talk we did and he continued to reveal things to me, just moments ago he showed me that I was on the right path...

at this point I stopped, took a deep breath as deeper still forgiveness and release was about to occur and I noticed that my word count was 11:11, a spiritually significant number signifying synchronicity... I was releasing for about an hour then came back to write the rest...

And so I listened. He told me that I was a vessel and that the past is only the past if I hold onto it. He explained that if I was holding onto it, I needed to process something and it would not be forgiven and released until I did. He showed me that the body temple of the Soul, is as light as the Soul if we allow it to be, but as we go through this life experience we tend to hold onto the past and thus our bodies became denser. As I experienced this in a physical way, I acknowledge that it is true. I was holding energy and it was sticking to me physically as well as energetically. Blockages created by density as other parts of me were getting lighter.

It felt as though going through the eye of the needle and that frequency that can’t pass through is stuck holding the rest of me back. I must release it. I must let it go by forgiving it completely, allowing it to release from my entire being. Coming into this Now moment without that baggage of the past allows me my freedom. I am not a slave to my past any longer. I am Free. I am Sovereign. I am the Light of this perfectly functioning body, the Universal One, beyond this perfectly functioning mind I am a complete radiant being.

I understand this now, how it makes a difference. I choose Love. I choose the Light that makes me lighter, wholer (new word ) and more complete. I choose Love and Kindness. I choose Forgiveness and Release so as to better experience the perfection that is all around me, permeating the very existence of all things. I choose the Truth. I choose Freedom!

I keep telling myself that over and over again today as I release the weight of this burden. I continue to talk to the not-so-angry boy as we both soften into the true reality that surrounds me. I don’t have to participate in activities that go against my highest and best good. I declared to the universe that I call back all my power and energy lost along the way, that I reclaim all my sovereignty and FREE WILL. In this declaration it returns to me.

All the times I have gone against creation are shown to me in a blur and I allow them to dissolve, along with the cords attaching me to those memories into the ethers and back to Source. I allow past judgements to dissolve and the cords attaching me to them to release from my being. I stand tall in the Light of my Being, getting stronger every moment.

A dear friend calls and we discuss the transformation symptoms and fears. Hits start coming in as I acknowledge the fear that they ride on. I release all fear and move completely to Love. I spoke with Creator just before some of the fear hits came through, turning over my Life to the Divine Source. And just afterwards, the calls and emails came in, trying to hook me back into a fear-based society. I refuse. I am the Light and I carry Love with me at all times. This is my connection to Source, Love is. It is my armor and weapons in this battle for my Soul, for my freedom.

I must Love all things, all situations... all Creation. To truly stand in my Light, I must fully embrace Love and release all fear and it’s derivatives. Those frequencies are binding and constrictive, a dense and heavy burden on the Light being that I am. I release them. I release all Fear and it’s derivatives from my being. I take total personal responsibility for all my thoughts, words and actions. With Love and Kindness I walk this path on my Journey to awakening and remembering...

I see how I was plugged in and am taking steps now to unplug, to deconstruct the programs and reclaim my freedom. It is a process, indeed. Some days deeper insights than others, but I know I am safe and secure as I am in the presence of Creator, connected and supported by all of Creation. I allow this to be my reality, carrying my Authentic Frequency of Love and Kindness to my experience. I continue to dig deep into the forgiveness and in doing so, more layers come up to be released.

I see just how I (and the angry little boy) was holding blameful energy towards those that were closest to me during that time. I dig deep calling upon my Power Animal to show me the way to forgiveness. It takes an enormous effort but I start to break apart the blocks of anger and hatred for those that I projected the blame onto. As they shatter apart and I am able to breathe again a little more of me slips through the eye of the needle. I am going to make it to the other side... I deeply forgive those whom I blamed and I release all connections and cords connecting me to that energy. I see them breaking free and dissolving. I look upon the central figures and place them in the Divine Catalyst and shine the light of my Love upon them. I let go of all the thoughts, words and actions taken in the past that perpetuated the blameful projection. It is in my highest and best good to release this energy, so I do. I can feel myself getting lighter, stronger and coming fuller into my being.

I transformed a breakdown into a breakthrough! By my free will and choice I am moving towards freedom, peace and tranquility. I stand in the eye of the storm, calm and centered I move always in the peaceful calm. I choose Love and LIght... Freedom. There is no other way for me, I will prevail. I am winning this time...

That’s what I told the angry little boy that finally got him to soften. I acknowledged that I was winning this time. That I could stand up to the pantheon this time and would prevail. It is true. The frequency of the planet is rising, the frequency of the universe is rising and so too I . It is already in motion, I have come to see and what I must do, I am doing. Letting go of the density of fear and fully embracing the higher frequency of Love. This is what the planet needs to heal and this is what humanity needs to heal. Humanity is at the crossroads, I believe and I have chosen Love. I choose to move into the next phase of my existence with Love as my companion and guide. I am better able to do that by letting go...

So, I continue to do the work... I continue to be present, awake and aware so as to see the signposts that are guiding me to my knowledge. I allow myself the space and energy to do this work and Creator supports me in this endeavor. All will be provided as I align with the energies of creation and dispel all anti-creation energy from my being. I walk with Creator. Creator is showing me the way now and I continue my Journey...

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to see the Truth and reclaim my Freedom. To be able to heal myself... my body and mind thus setting my spirit free to soar to the greatest heights. To meet my Soul and reclaim vast amounts of energy lost along the way, I am so thankful for. I allow it all to wash away, remnants of the past dissolving and allowing greater access to my Freedom.

I now stand tall and move forward in the Light, embodying that which is me, My True and Authentic Self leads the way from the ♡ and I embrace the experience, become one with it in its perfection and beauty.

I prepare, taking a breath and adjusting my frame, I listen for the rhythm of the Universe and begin to Dance...

Love and Kindness...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Happy, Joyous and Free!

I am on a quest for the Truth. My journey has led me to discover a great deal about myself and the world around me. I have come to see, know and understand many of the great mysteries that eluded me before. Why was I like that before? Why did I have troubles in various aspects of my life? Why did I feel pain and suffering? Why could I not accept or receive Love, nor give it unconditionally? These are but a few of the questions I have had, there are more of course, but the point is... I want to know!

I have always looked at babies with fascination as they are so open and receptive, as well as filled with knowledge. I wonder what they could tell us if they could speak immediately after being born? WOuld they tell us of the wonders of it all? There has been research into near-death experiences, but could there possibly be research that could discover what new-life experience is like? Perhaps... But for now, I look at babies with continued awe. Look into their eyes, into the depths of their knowing and you can see it. Past the subterfuge, created by unknowing parents bent on doing the best they can to raise a child in the world today.

They know, babies do... I can see it in their eyes. This is what I am remembering. I am remembering a time, a place where Love is all there is. There is no fear, anger, hatred, violence, greed and deception. Where compassion, joy and bliss are the natural states of being and all recognize that. Where people are connected in Spirit and long to help one another, as though helping themselves. A place where all is perfect and right knowledge prevails.

This place does exist as a dimensional reality, I am certain of this. However, the current situation in the world today has precluded most from seeing this. To say that it has happened over time and from acceptance by most participants is true, I believe. However, I don’t believe that is all there is. I have come to see that we can bring that dimension into our current reality, a “Heaven on Earth” as it were, just by shifting our awareness to the higher frequencies. By cleansing ourselves of the detritus built up over a lifetime of unconscious acceptance to the way things are.

This is what my journey is all about. Reclamation of my Soul Sovereignty and non-acceptance of the current state of affairs. I refuse to believe any more that the way things appear to be is the way it is going to stay. By healing myself with Soul Retrieval, I am coming into a wholeness of being that is showing the way to continued growth and healing. I am working the energy as it comes in, questioning why things are happening and being guided to the answers.

This is truly an unplugging from the Matrix as it were, a knowing that I can and will make a difference in my life and a knowing that if I live my life to my Soul’s Purpose, it will be a happy, joyous and fulfilling experience. It is always exciting, and as long as I stay in Love and Kindness and Total Personal Responsibility, I am better able to interact with the world around me. In fact, carrying the peaceful vibrations seems to have an impact on those around me and they too have begun to experience things differently.

So, I continue... And know, deep inside I know this is the right path. It is liberating... Far more liberating than other paths I have walked in my life. Actually, the other paths I followed degraded my energy so much as to require a great amount of healing and work. This is what I am writing about... The breaking free of the “Norm” to become the authentic expression of my Soul. So, it is challenging... and to some it may sound as though I am sick or depressed or any other societal/medical definitions. But therein lies the conundrum, this is what I am trying to break free of.

There was a time many years ago, that I turned to my doctor and said I was having problems adjusting to a traumatic experience, stacked upon other traumatic experiences. She pulled out a questionnaire and left me alone to answer the questions. 30 minutes went by... you know doctor’s offices, and when she returned looked at the answers and proclaimed “you have clinical depression”... She whipped out the prescription pad and voila, I was to be cured! Take these and we’ll reconnect in a month. But be sure to come in immediately if you are feeling angry, suicidal, aggressive or otherwise not right... Wow...

Dutifully, I took the remedy... What happened. Well, it actually got worse for a while. I did have suicidal thoughts, I was angry and aggressive and was actually worse off and kinda scared. I called, got appointment and out came the pad again. Marc, Prozac is not going to work for you, but don’t worry we will try this... and if that doesn’t work, then there are other pills that we can try...

Well, suffice to say... Eventually I got to the place where I was numb. The pills took out the highs and lows and I was just numb. Nothing really mattered and I DIDN’T HAVE MY POWER... That went on for a while, but eventually I saw that it wasn’t giving me what I truly needed.

This practice that I have found works. It is based in and promotes SELF-EMPOWERMENT through DIRECT EXPERIENCE. It is holistic and inclusive and I decide what is to be done for my highest good. I am the pilot of this ship... Some days I flounder in rough seas and others the wind is at my back and I cover great distances. But I look back on the last 3 years and my growth has been remarkable. I am different thanI was in so many ways.

I am happy, joyous and free. Even during the challenging times I prevail... Because of my effort, my insights and my quest for the Truth. I am getting better, stronger and vibrant. This I like, this I love... My life is perfect in all ways and I am so thankful and grateful. Thank you Creator!!!!!

Blessings everyone!

Love and Kindness, Marc

Monday, March 22, 2010


I have come to see that I had some major programming rooted in my being. Alive and vibrant it would become when triggered and literally take over my physical body. I am aware now. I am understanding and deprogramming now. I am taking steps to insure it doesn’t reboot. I am reclaiming MY sovereignty as the light of this body, the Universal One, beyond mind I am a complete radiant being.

We have been tracking this system for years now, my partner and I. And today, I made a breakthrough. I saw it start up and I asked for help immediately. I did not follow it’s instructions, rather my partner who coached me through the experience. It is a rather insidious program, with sinister qualities... suffice to say the alter that takes over is not very nice. But, I defeated it today by asking for help... That is the first time that I have noticed it coming out and was able to hold on long enough to notify and ask for assistance.

That is really just huge... I stayed in the light as Deva guided me through the release, Francesca supporting remotely. A Shamanic team! Thank you Creator, Deva and Francesca! I have my being back, my body and mind... My Soul, I can hear it again...

This path I walk, as others do, is arduous at times. But we’re talking about the reclamation of my Soul Sovereignty and the reunion of that energy with my mind and body. It is transformative to the cellular level. Getting my mind back from the dark thoughts is wonderful, as they truly are not me!

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of something other than myself has come with the practice. At those times I must come out of service and work on myself, to rest and heal. And at times, the releases have been intense but they are getting easier now. Letting go... And with a breath it can be gone... Well, there is more to it than that, but in essence it is true.

What are some of the signs?

Negative thoughts, anti-creation, self-destructive, blameful, low energy, sudden sleepiness, sudden rapid heart rate, lethargic, suicidal thoughts or imagery, hateful thoughts, cursing, aggression, argumentative, spiteful, hurtful, irresponsible, fearful, self-loathing, self-doubt, targeted aggression, directed anger...

Whenever I am feeling other than the authentic Love and Kindness, balanced and harmonious, tuned and accepting to the natural movements of energy in me and my relations... Whenever I am not in that space, I know to go the other direction... If I see any of those signs and symptoms in my field I turn around and go the opposite way until I am back to Love and Kindness, etc. It is very important to catch this as soon as possible and at some point I got to the place that I was going after the trigger and reclaiming my power completely. If you walk this path, you will get there... YAY!!!!

When I have been unsuccessful in steering clear and the hit comes through completely it gets a little more dicey. The farther my frequency would fall the more difficult it was for me to see my way out, but thankfully teamwork prevails and guided out I was, many times along the way.

Today, with the deepest, darkest, most torturous program in my being I prevailed. I am getting stronger and things are rapidly shifting. More is releasing, as it is guided to do. I am in service, an instrument of Creator’s I continue to cleanse and detox in so many ways. I have my energy back, firm footed I stand, solidly grounded on our Earth Mother. I walk...

Love before me, Love behind me, Love at my left, Love at my right, Love above me, Love below me, Love onto me, Love in my surroundings, Love to all, Love to the Universe.

Peace before me, Peace behind me, Peace at my left, Peace at my right, Peace above me, Peace below me, Peace onto me, Peace in my surroundings, Peace to all, Peace to the Universe.

Light before me, Light behind me, Light at my left, Light at my right, Light above me, Light below me, Light onto me, Light in my surroundings, Light to all, Light to the Universe.

Love before you, Love behind you, Love at your left, Love at your right, Love above you, Love below you, Love onto you, Love in your surroundings, Love to all, Love to the Universe.

Peace before you, Peace behind you, Peace at your left, Peace at your right, Peace above you, Peace below you, Peace onto you, Peace in your surroundings, Peace to all, Peace to the Universe.

Light before you, Light behind you, Light at your left, Light at your right, Light above you, Light below you, Light onto you, Light in your surroundings, Light to all, Light to the Universe.

I choose to know where this comes from... It is very purposeful. Thank you.

Love to all


Sunday, March 21, 2010


I am contemplating the health and vitality of my physical body this morning and have come to see the importance of consciousness when caring for it. In the old ways, there was no consciousness involved, rather I put things in my body that were very detrimental to it’s ability to function. Decades of fast food, alcohol, Marlboros, processed foods, high fructose corn syrup, artificial ingredients... the list goes on. Take a quick look at what you’ve eaten in the past 48 hours and one can get a sense of the potential to pollute the body.

In the US, it is far easier to fill the body with things that do not assist in peak functioning. Hectic lifestyles, jobs, kids, family, friends, etc can set up conditions that don’t allow for the time to adequately care for the body. I know this first hand from years of living in the world by the old ways. I allowed my body to take the back seat, not realizing that caring for it as the vessel that allows my Soul to express itself is the key.

Mindfulness in this area has revealed to me now just how toxic I used to be. I haven’t eaten artificial ingredients, drank alcohol or subjected my body to any other “man-made” foods in the past couple of years. I have recently discovered that I may be allergic to wheat, or something about it (gluten?) And so I have removed that from my diet. I am finding that my body is telling me what is good for it by how well I feel.

We are really such perfectly functioning organisms and our physical state should reflect that. Anything other than this is an illusion, an agreement that it should be some other way.

I have seen when I was polluting my body with all the toxins available to me I was inadequately prepared to address much of anything. Much of the days spent trying to stimulate with caffeine or remedy a “hang-over” from food or alcohol. Now I understand that each of the things we ingest carries a frequency with it. Alcohol, for example, carries a dense, thick and sticky frequency often associated with what I call hell realms. Historically, alcohol hasn’t brought about a mass shift in higher consciousness I don’t think, rather it has lowered the collective vibration of those societies that it has come into contact with. What do you think when looking at it from a health and wellness perspective?

Artificial flavors and “man-made” enhancements have another frequency that is very detrimental to body function, yet they are EVERYWHERE! Why is that? Just take a gander in your pantry... Look at the ingredients and lo and behold, what are all those ingredients that you can’t pronounce or don’t know what they are. I choose to know why we as a culture are doing this to ourselves.

Going to the grocery store today it is far easier and less expensive to fuel our bodies with junk. Going organic and all natural is more expensive??!! I don’t understand, but wait I do... Just another component of a society that has created its own pollution, extending all the way to the individual body function. Interesting to say the least...

So, I have found that it has taken an enormous effort at times and tremendous mindfulness to maintain a healthy diet, but it is WORTH IT! It all works in harmony, peaceful mind and healthy body allows the spirit to soar! It comes back to the energetics of it all and the vibrational frequency. When ingesting lower vibrational elements to fuel a high vibrational organism problems occur.

Density begins to invade where faster vibrations are manifest. This impedes energy flow and creates blockages, as you may already know that can lead to physical illness and dis-ease. I have also experienced this density to attract lower vibrational experiences in my life that have been detrimental to my highest good. Energetic realms of experience that cross-over into my here and now have been brought on by body toxicity and subsequently continue to toxify my environment. Knowing how this works, I am better able to manage my energy and the energy around me. I consciously choose what to eat and drink. My body tells me when I need to detox and cleanse. I know what makes my body function well and recognize when it is not, taking steps to identify the source and solutions.

Awareness is paramount, as well as discernment. I am the Light of this body. Therefore, I should be operating at peak performance, everything tuned, light and free. The density stands out calling to me to free the light. I answer the call and go to the work, because behind the physical component of diet and body lies the etheric realms where the energy battles are taking place. I go to these realms of existence to retrieve my energy and I am shown the way to healing.

Back and forth I go, between dimensions I am guided to soar, to learn and understand. To Live a life that is free, balanced, harmonious and filled with the Blessings of the Universe. To be...

Love and kindness,

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring 2010

The energy is flowing now, still releasing today... Big releases allowing my energy to return. Allowing all to happen as it is... No judgement, but acceptance and appreciation. Every moment blissful awareness coming in waves of gratitude. I have come to know so many new things about myself and how it all works. I see when I am in the flow and every experience is perfect and appropriate and I can feel it when I am not.

Residing in the present with the natural ebb and flow of energy currents has been my experience. I remain attuned to the vibrations all around me, learning and discovering how best to be in it all. Love is the answer. Compassion and understanding brings about the space for joy and bliss. Sovereignty of my own energy allows for an openness I have not experienced before. Understanding myself and taking total personal responsibility for all my thoughts, words and actions has opened me up in ways I had never before known possible.

And so it is... my new life is amazing! I am moving forward now and having a wonderful time listening to the musings of my soul. I am finding ways to create, communicate, bring about community and live to my purpose. It is invigorating.

These are transformational times and we are here now... Ride the waves and enjoy the ride.

Love and Kindness,

Key Understanding...

As the guidance increases I am finding that I trust it more. Yesterday my mind got in the way and tried to tell me that I needed more sleep, so I snoozed through my alarm for an hour and a half even though I woke up on my own moments before it went off. The other day, the guidance told me to awake at 3:33 am and do the work...

Yesterday I didn’t do this completely. I thought during the snooze that I was conscious enough to fend off the “hits” that were coming through. But now I know that was not enough. However, I was able to reclaim my sovereignty and the energy of the day aligned with another cleansing...

I had not been able to do much of anything in my home office for the past several months, aside from using it as a dumping ground for all kinds of stuff. It had become stagnant, rooted in the past it seemed. I hadn’t worked in there since December, nor been able to access any creative energy while seated at the 10 year old office chair and 1 year old glass desk. Artwork that was linked to the past hung on the walls, piles of paperwork stacked in the same place it was a year ago, stuff piled on the floor... It was a holding ground for energy, the whole room was an anchor, with a long rode connecting me to the past.

I have purged from my life physical possessions before, but was surprised to see more as I went into the minutia of the room. There were some really little things that surprised me, but I listened to my guides and continued to carry everything out of the house... There were some obvious ones that directly connected me to my past and they were released with Love and Kindness. The ones that surprised me... I had released all of my jewelry, I thought and was surprised to find it still in the room... But then I looked closer and the box that held the little I kept, so innocuous as to be missed so many times, yet so important to release from the house.

Deva observed that objects that had kept current with my spiritual growth, were allowed to stay because they matched my frequency now. The other objects didn’t and were thus linked to my denser, older frequencies that I have released. Yay! Progress! As I continued to sort through the piles, releasing more and more of the past, I began to feel it in my body. Big chunks of stuck energy began to break off of me and begin to recycle, returning to Source. I could feel it and knew not to connect with the feelings and thoughts associated with the process, but rather focus on what I am now.

It was challenging in a physical way, my body giving signs of energetic release. I allowed them to happen, staying completely present and aware, forgiving and releasing myself and others as they came into my awareness. Spending a moment of time with each memory to bless and appreciate it, get my power back and then I let it go for good. Staying aware during the process showed some things as well. For example, I was moving a desk, bookshelf and rolling set of drawers out of the room and I staged them in the carport. At some point I noticed that where I haphazardly placed each item had formed a barrier to me to get out of the carport. For a time, I struggled with my energy levels and ended up taking a nap. When I reclaimed my power enough to continue, I noticed the barrier and broke through it, getting the next step accomplished.

All in all, it was awesome! In letting go, space was allowed for the new and I now have my office back! I can feel the frequency is much higher now and the energy has movement again... I manifested an amazing marble desk that is providing a deep connection to Earth Mother and there is little opportunity for energy to collect now in the Zen-like setting. I will continue to clear this room until it is pristine and shines as brilliantly as possible. Creation happens in this room...

So, I am listening and have come to understand and trust my guides. When I am moved to action from this place of knowing, I must do. No thought, just action. These are the whisperings of my Soul, resonant to the frequency of my original blueprint my actions are guided. There is only this place right now that I am where my consciousness resides. I choose now, releasing all the past that prevents me from stepping completely into this now moment.

My guidance told me to get up before the dreamtime “hits” come in, to be fully conscious, present and aware, using this presence to keep clear of the nefarious influences that try to get me to stray from my path. I listened and here I am. I can feel the influences trying to come in, but I am steadfast in my practice and my purposeful intent is towards the highest good for all creation. And so it is...

This is my day, my time and I am making the most of it... I am the Light of this Body, the Universal One, beyond mind I am a complete Radiant Being...

Spread Love, Spread Peace and share Joy and Happiness...

Blessings to All

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Jury Duty

We have been dancing more frequently... Out of the learning mode, a state of no-mind and the steps and body flow with the music unimpeded. The sensations are amazing and laughter came forth. There is something to it, this Ballroom Dance. So much has changed since starting...

I am softer and more graceful in movement, yet my body has taken on a physical form I remember from my youth. I maintain a sensitivity to my environment, looking for the rhythm and flowing with it. I think that is it... the dance has shown me how to move with the rhythm of the Universe. How to flow with the energy that is all around us.

In the dance, if I hold any tension, thoughts or am not completely present I am more aware of what I don’t have in the dance at that moment... a connection to the rhythm. As I let go of all that and sink into the moment with the beat, merge with it becomes a part of me and I of it... One. That is where it all happens, a miraculous experience is available.

The energies ebb and flow and as I learn to discern what to do in each moment that supports my highest and best good, to create intention and action that only supports this has been my endeavor. My experience has been utterly amazing, an adventure I continue to say steeped in illumination and discovery.

I have come to know things in a way that is so deep. To describe the flow of miracles... No need, as I have come to know it. And this knowing expresses itself in my doing, that is the description. I have witnessed myself in the flow and it has changed me, yet again. In beauty I walk all around me it is here. All experiences have been wondrous and filled with opportunity and life energy.

I have been releasing judgement on this journey and I was provided an experience to take a look at this more closely. A few weeks ago, I received in the mail my first ever Jury Duty summons. Ok, I suspect I know what you all are thinking... But, I thought not much of it at first, just went into a save the date and don’t forget type of mindset. But as the day approached I was definitely struggling with it. I knew I didn’t want to do it and my rational mind started to try and make the excuses... I stayed with what’s for my highest and best good. At some point, I saw all the chatter and journeyed on it.

I discovered that in releasing judgement from my life by embracing Love and Kindness, Forgiveness and Release I could not participate in the trial. At this time, I could not sit on a panel to pass judgement on another person. I needed to maintain my sovereignty and communicate this when the time came. It was important for me to see this for it created an experience that was effortless.

The night before I was to go to Prescott for jury duty something nefarious came to me in my sleep and I awoke at 3:30. I got up and started to work clearing myself. Deva got up too and we both worked it pretty hard and I got my energy back and was releasing as I left for Prescott. An hour and a half ride on the bike, temperature 39 degrees when I got there, was incredibly invigorating! I knew I was releasing because the dark thoughts would come in, but every time they did I went the opposite direction back to Love and Kindness. I continued to forgive and release all the way there.

Staying present, I knew what was needed... and when it came to it, I was in the first panel and release by 10:30. I just spoke the truth and did my civic duty. All for the highest good and so I left Prescott to return to Sedona with the Sun shining bright, the chill gone. I stopped again at the Jerome overlook as I recognized a guy I’d met the last time I was there! He has ridden this Harley, i think he said he’s had three, over 300,000 miles and it has been in every state except Hawaii. We talked and smiled, in fact that stands out... The big grin, we both had it...

I took the road less travelled on the way home. It was easy at first, hard packed and well-travelled but as I turned towards Sedona the road freshly graded became more challenging and I almost went off once or twice. I took a side trail and obtained a view, even more challenging but well worth the excursion. But, it did get smooth again and way easier as I continued to listen to the energy of the day, doing what I was guided to do. I returned an inquiry on my cruiser, as I had placed an ad in craigslist before going to Prescott, and he wanted to see the bike.

Long story short... He bought the bike. And as I sat in the energy of the day, looking back on it, I realized how perfect it all is when I am aligned with my Higher Consciousness. So I listened and was shown many things. In this guidance I trust. I release it all to the Original Creator and allow the divine guidance to flow through me. There is peace here in the knowing. I continue to be student, as well as guide on this path and I walk it with gratitude and Love.

Thank You Creator. Thank You All who walk this path and carry Love and Kindness with you on your journey. Blessings...


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Awakening (part 2)

Back home, I relaxed and processed the download from earlier. I was to take the bike on a journey, leaving early destination Cave Creek, AZ through the Agua Fria National monument and the Tonto Nationa Forest. That would have taken several hours and limited the time I would be able to work with Francesca it turns out... But no matter, because I got to the Agua Fria River and it was running very freely! Turn around and go straight there down the interstate.

And so it was and we got immediately to work. It is so wonderful to work with another who is so adept at the work. Each of us seeing, enhancing the other’s energy and the work was huge. As I was leaving I got a phone call and it could only be one person... I hadn’t talked to this person in almost a year and it kinda threw me and it took a moment to stabilize. But I went on and we “caught” up. I listened and there wasn’t the anger and hatred or blame as before, that was nice. Much was the same for them, and my entire being had changed for me. There was a space there, as I understood there would be, between us in the realm of spirit. And that’s ok... I felt accepted for the most part but viewed a little skeptically at the same time. It was the pleasantries, really... Nothing deep.

And I like deep, so as my energy drained I knew it was time to draw this to a close. Peaceful and pleasant it was, but as I mounted the bike to continue my journey my energy continued to drain. I took it deeper and knew that I needed help, so I called Francesca to look at it and we did the work. And it was revealed to me what needed to be done, I met an inner child whose needs weren’t met and had a conversation with him, welcoming him home. He showed me the root source of a lifetime pattern that was disintegrating and this was the key piece. And then it was done... Over, that pattern and timeline completely transitioned. I am so blessed to have these experiences and the knowledge to go deeper into the event when necessary.

Getting the power and soul pieces back, I was better able to see the Love and Kindness in this conversation. And thankful to have it.

Back on the bike, all is brighter I go into meditation. Processing, rebooting... no-mind. It is a powerful experience to just be right there in the moment. All the way home on the interstate, easy hundred miles with a tail wind and not a single semi went by me! And I got home to Sedona just before dark, vest keeping me warm as a storm was blowing in. Winds of change... that’s for sure this winter!

There was work to be done when I got in and I got right to it. I was guided to my partner’s energy and began to retrieve it, when I got to the source it was pretty tenacious, so what did I do?

I called for backup... and so it began, the three of us working together by phone.... then Deva’s phone rang and it was our teacher. So, there we were... four Shamans on phones collaborating, creating a synergy that was quite powerful. What an experience, again I am so blessed and grateful...

And as I was falling asleep, I realized I had seen this all before... In a dream, as though just by listening I was seeing the pathway to the experiences that are leading to my growth and deeper into my being to release all things standing in the way of my highest and best good.

I am better able to see today and the guidance is strong. I am listening, intent and aware. I am accepting of what Creator places on my path and vigilant I remain as the light grows stronger.

Love and LIght,


Much has happened since returning from Texas.... To sum it up, Amazing! I have been processing the download and learning more every day. I rested and restored, meditated and soul retrieval and prepared for the next experience, a week in Tucson for training. I enjoyed the week, seeing many old friends from the fire ground and taking in the key lessons learned from the previous season.

The last night there, i was overtaken by several dark urges, thoughts, messages, vertigo to an extreme... like almost falling off the balcony. I stayed present and aware that this was not me, got in my breath, called for back-up and did the work. I called my Power Animal and knew what to do. The release was explosive, taking me by surprise and then it was over. I got up and went out to eat, feeling amazing. Slept so well and woke up, refreshed. First time that week, I see now I was working up to that release all week.

The next morning I called in additional backup and a HUGE piece of me returned. Thank you! And I am alive and invigorated... I move to the next. If I leave now, I can make it to dance class and that would be awesome after sitting in a conference room all week. North I go, but not before stopping and meeting some great folks at On Any Moto in Tucson. It is really great to see people living their dreams and sharing Love at the same time. It creates a passion in people and it shows in the their interaction with others. Awesome!!!

I texted, “Shall we dance”, to my partner, Deva and she was “delighted!,” so I urged my car along a little faster and arrived home with plenty of time. Again, warm welcomes this time a bottle of essentia water, blessed and ready to go and a Halvah Bar... an excellent preparation for the dance. Something was feeling good, like it was about to happen and I breathed in the sanctified air of my house. Off to the shower....

So, it happened again. Another download came through and I was prepared, interacting far more than the last time. I asked questions, commented and saw with greater detail. I saw the light of some recent situations and was given insight into the future. I was shown to leave early in the morning to Cave Creek to visit a dear friend and shaman to do the work. I didn’t ask why, I just moved and started unpacking and packing, finding tent and sleeping bag, along with some overnight gear.

Then there was the dance...

Wow! It was the Samba. I felt as though I had already learned this step somewhere following the lead of a master teacher and Deva and I were dancing right away. We got the basic step and started to dance. There is a difference between learning and dancing and this was dancing... No mind, only body, the frame, the music and the movement. It is really something when it happens and it is what the learning is all about. Learning to dance, then dancing. Such a parable for the work and the dance has truly taken all the physical practices I’ve used in my life to another level. So happy to be having this experience and it really complements the soul retrieval.

Then we went back to learning and had a wonderful time learning quite a few basic steps. Practice, practice and more practice, I take it home to the kitchen working the steps out on the tile floor. The dance brings stronger connection to my higher consciousness and Authentic Self. And again, such practical application to heal my being. The dance is amazing and a perfect way to relax and move before leaving tomorrow for the next leg of the journey...

to be continued...

Love and Light,

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

New Beginnings...

When I got home from the Journey, I was tired to be sure, but I had an energy pouring through me that was extraordinarily exhilarating. I was committed to going to my Ballroom Dance class, even though I was having a difficult time even speaking. The Dance has been an important part of the experience these past few weeks... And I will post an entry on the Dance very soon.

What was amazing, though, was the download that came thru just before class. It happened in the shower, as the water cascading over me cleansed the energies of the Journey and I opened even more to the experience. I spoke of the receipt of Divine information before, how it feels and what it is like and this was no different. It just about put me to my knees and I found that my tears of joy and happiness were mixing with the water coming from above me.

It was shared with me, again, what my mission is... what I am to do. It was shared with me to have faith... to believe in my experiences and act accordingly. To see all things that are around me as the perfect manifestation of Creator to assist me on this path. To know that as I build my strength and reclaim my Soul energies that were lost along the way I would be better able to act towards the fulfillment of my mission. I heard that all along the way, even when I wasn’t conscious of it, I was working towards my Soul’s mission and not to fuss over my minds perception of the times it appeared to me that I was not. Everything I have experienced in this lifetime has been in preparation for this moment right now.

I was told to write about my experience, to share my Journey with the world and that those that would benefit in their own growth and development would find what they needed. It was conveyed that I need not be critical of myself during this time, that I just needed to continue to see and continue to be the very best that I can be in every moment, stay present, aware and conscious so as to be able to receive the guidance that the Spirit world was providing. This is very important for all, but for me in particular I was still holding some judgement over my actions of the past that was keeping me from being fully present in the Now. I let that go, allowing the water to wash that frequency down the drain...

I was shown the blueprint, or a part of it anyway, the design that is to be created by my interaction within the third dimension and how it related to other dimensions, other realities and the future in this dimension. I was called to bring together a community of like-minded beings. To create the infrastructure to allow those in the world (through the internet) to come together to see the illusion that has bound our remembrance and assist those Souls in human form that are ready to leave it all behind and truly begin to see how to escape, to become free and autonomous so as to fully tap into their true Nature and potential.

This is so clear to me now... perhaps a little overwhelming, but that just means I have more work to do around it. And so I continue the work... That has been a theme in these Buffalo Diaries. I am like an onion, with every healing there is another layer that is revealed. I accept that now and diligently stay on the path. If I falter, I pick myself up and continue. As my power and strength grows, I have found that I don’t falter for as long, nor as hard as I used to.

So, wondrous things occurred on the Journey foretelling much. Physically I needed a rest and so I took a couple of days to allow all to integrate. I am on the Path, fulfilling my destiny and aligned with my Higher Consciousness. It is all as it is supposed to be and I am allowing for it to unfold for the highest and best good for all Creation. I am getting out of my own way, so I can just be... That is where the miracles happen!

Light and Love