When I awoke on Sunday morning in El Paso, TX I looked out the window and saw the beautiful blue sky and no wind... I was elated. Perhaps the weather forecasters were wrong, I thought. I made my way down to the bike with coffee and cigarette, my morning ritual, to clear the nights activities and set my intent for the day. As I walked out the door into the glorious sunshine opening my arms into the East and the rising sun, expanding my energy and receiving the warmth, I was unaware of what was happening in the West... I remember saying my prayers, eyes closed releasing the past and coming into oneness with the moment... the glorious sunshine warming my being, I was at peace.
I opened my eyes, turned around and was surprised to see a wall of black storm clouds the likes of which I hadn’t seen in a while... I knew what it meant, the forecasters weren’t wrong the predicted weather was about to arrive. I knew what I would be riding into. 35 mph sustained winds out of the West with gusting to 50+, rain, snow and thunder showers. For a moment, my mind told me to go back inside, crawl into bed and turn the TV on and wait... and for a moment, that’s what I was going to do. But something within me called that to question, so I tested it with my discernment tools.
So, I was looking at some serious weather and contemplating traveling through it... several hundred miles that would be challenging in a car, let alone a 500 lb motorcycle with a 150 lb rider... But, the message I kept getting was to proceed! Ok. Listen, Marc I said to myself. Ask creator what is the highest and best good. I closed my eyes and began to breathe, stilling my mind... I listened.
I don’t hear the messages in the traditional sense of hearing words in my ears or my mind, rather it is a sense of knowing. I do use a form of muscle testing, sometimes a pendulum, to test information and in this case I began to rock forward onto my toes standing there in the parking lot... Forward rocking is yes, side to side is no for me and in this case I was rocking so far forward as to be on my toes and almost taking a step forward. This was a resounding yes, proceed.
I asked the question, “Is it in my highest and best good to travel today?” Again, with the forward rocking... So, Ok... get out of mind, pack up and move. I finished my coffee and went in to pack with the sun shining from the East and the black wall coming closer to the West.
Packed and ready (right down to the hotel laundry bags on my feet!) for whatever the day had to bring, I walked out the doors and was almost blown over by the wind. Literally, I had to lean into it to keep from getting blown back. Wow, I was to ride in this? Again, I considered checking back in and spending the day in front of the TV... But I asked and even with the wind, I rocked forward onto my toes. OK... I get it.
I was tested that day. Trust... my mind told me that what I was doing was dangerous, risky and wrong, but my being was guided and I listened. I got on the bike, clutch... 1st gear and the day began...
There were many miracles that day; many discoveries and much self-awareness... I got out of my way. I trusted that Creator was showing me something and I rode on. I was safe all day, enveloped in Love I faced every challenge that day with a smile. When I was cold, I ran the mantra, when I was being blown off the road... the mantra... whatever challenge that presented itself, the mantra.
I am Love and Kindness.
I feel Love and Kindness.
I share Love and Kindness.
I Love myself completely.
I Love all that I am.
I Love all Creation...
Over and over I would alternate between Mantras... The other one is:
I am the Light of this body.
The Universal One.
Beyond mind,
I am a complete Radiant Being...
And I shared Love with all Creation. I shared myself with the wind, rain, hail, wet and slippery roads, the other motorists on the 15 miles of Interstate I travelled... Everywhere I went, I was Love and Kindness. I ate lunch with some rough looking bikers in Safford, AZ and shared Love. There were no barriers, there was nothing but common ground, there was Love Unconditional. After, we embraced knowing we were the same... knowing.
I rode on throughout the day and the weather changed... the sun shone and my journey continued. As fatigue began to set in, the mantra. As darkness fell and I found myself with over 100 miles to go for the day the mantra my companion through the curviest and most mountain driving of the whole journey. I was never in doubt... I was never in fear. Creator walking with me I was one with...
As I got off the bike in Mesa, AZ and crawled into bed I realized there was nothing to be afraid of... Ever. Perceivably, I was alone all day... But, my experience showed me that truly, I wasn’t. That by staying clear and present, I walked with Creator and I was safe... I was having the experience that I was to have and it was perfect... Even though in the realm of reason everything was pointing to danger, I was immune to it. I was not alone.
I understand that we are never alone on this journey... in life. The spirit world is alive and many blessings and miracles are available to us, we just need to be aware.
When I see with more than my eyes, when I hear with more than my ears and when I feel with more than my skin a miraculous world that exists all around me opens up... and in that understanding I have found peace...
Love and LIght
Marc
Friday, March 5, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Journey... Part 1.
I am listening, my senses tuned to my guides and helper spirits... to creator. I am aligned with my highest and best good, walking the path with purposeful intent. In this way, I am receiving information and guidance from all creation. Everything that happens around me and within me has meaning, purpose. Living consciously like I have been, I am seeing this with greater consistency than ever before.
By listening and staying in tune, I am getting messages from my higher self. They come as visions, often stopping me in my tracks until they pass sometimes extremely emotional and very vivid. They are calls to action, guiding the next steps on my path. They are showing me the way. I am showing me the way. By getting out of my own way, I am opening up to the mysteries of the Universe.
One day back in early October, 2009 Spirit told me to write a book. I didn’t ask why, I just sat down in one of the corner comfy chairs at Ravenheart Coffee in Sedona, AZ and began writing. Within a month, I had the makings of my book and started the editing process. Deva and I edited the first half and I even approached some friends to read some excerpts, fully expecting to publish before the end of 2010.
I began to write the Buffalo Diaries on November 20, 2009, which was about the time the editing and writing on my book stopped. At the time, I think I may have gotten frustrated, but I did trust myself... the guidance. There was much to release still and my practice needed to deepen for me to continue the book. An amazing adventure ensued and I embraced the experience with every cell of my being.
I needed those months, those experiences and lessons to arrive at this place where I can see and hear, more like sense the guidance that is all around. And it is here... I can say that. It is very real...
So, in listening I found myself in San Antonio, TX last Friday the happy new owner of a Dual Sport motorcycle. Spirit had guided me to this place in time and I trusted. All the doubts and second thoughts, suspicions and concerns were tested with my tools of discernment and I was told to proceed. Everything about the meeting and transaction went beyond smooth, as though nothing could get in the way.
The journey home took me through west Texas the first day, riding 650 miles in 17 1/2 hours... Now, consider this. I started motorcycling again after 20 some years in 2007, my first and only experience with a motorcycle being in college for 6 months. Over the past 3 years I have ridden 6000 miles on my cruiser, so I feel comfortable on a bike now. Last year, though I hardly rode at all and I hadn’t been on the bike since October when I did my first overnight down to Phoenix, 120 miles away. Putting it bluntly, I had never done anything like this before...
So, there I was at 3:30 in the morning the first day faced with 1250 miles home and no direct experience to relate to. I was in service, I opened to the experience and I listened... all the way home. The first day was amazing; I had chosen a longer route that kept me off the high traffic Interstate-10, which allowed for a very peaceful ride. The bike and I were one and I dissolved into the experience, following the path before me with diligence, awareness and consciousness.
There was not a lot of thinking. I ran 2 Mantra’s through my mind the whole journey, I listened to my body and I listened to my Higher Self. I met the original creator of my soul, the Universe, of all things... I am not sure precisely when it happened and I can’t describe how, but I know... deep inside. We spoke, I remember the visions of what was being said, but I don’t recall the conversation. There was a conveyance of my Soul’s original blueprint and intent. There was Love and kindness, forgiveness, compassion, joy and happiness... bliss. As the first day of the journey was coming to a close and the sun was setting I still had a few hours of riding in the dark.
I passed a single vehicle accident and stopped to see if the Border Patrol officers needed some help. I shared Love with them and the driver, they were kinda out of their element, being just first responders, but they had done an excellent job of stabilizing the driver and were just waiting for an ambulance. They were relieved after I stopped and helped for a few minutes and suggested that I continue on my journey. I told the driver he would be in my prayers and moved on. All for the highest and best good,
As I continued, I understood that I was in the perfect place at the perfect time, where I was supposed to be and when I arrived at the hotel... the days journey complete. Sharing Love with the staff at the hotel so wonderful and I relaxed into stillness at the end of a long day... As I briefly looked at the weather for the following day, I was confident that all was aligning for the highest and best good, even though the forecast was for rain, snow, and heavy winds, gusting to 50+ mph... I went to sleep that night knowing all would be perfect when I awoke...
As I contemplate that day, now as I write this, I am aware that I got out of my own way, became the “hollow bone” and allowed Spirit to flow through me without any interference. In that experience is where I connected with the Original Creator and it was that day I began to see more clearly what I am to do in this lifetime.
And so I am doing that which I am to do. I have stopped questioning and looking to the realm of reason for answers, instead just being present listening for the guidance and moving on that guidance. In doing so, allowing for my Authentic Nature to shine in the Light of Love and Kindness, I am free and better able to serve myself and others. I am better able to live compassionately and without judgement, to allow for the highest and best good for all creation to manifest itself within the field around me.
And so I continue on this path as it is what I am to do.
By listening and staying in tune, I am getting messages from my higher self. They come as visions, often stopping me in my tracks until they pass sometimes extremely emotional and very vivid. They are calls to action, guiding the next steps on my path. They are showing me the way. I am showing me the way. By getting out of my own way, I am opening up to the mysteries of the Universe.
One day back in early October, 2009 Spirit told me to write a book. I didn’t ask why, I just sat down in one of the corner comfy chairs at Ravenheart Coffee in Sedona, AZ and began writing. Within a month, I had the makings of my book and started the editing process. Deva and I edited the first half and I even approached some friends to read some excerpts, fully expecting to publish before the end of 2010.
I began to write the Buffalo Diaries on November 20, 2009, which was about the time the editing and writing on my book stopped. At the time, I think I may have gotten frustrated, but I did trust myself... the guidance. There was much to release still and my practice needed to deepen for me to continue the book. An amazing adventure ensued and I embraced the experience with every cell of my being.
I needed those months, those experiences and lessons to arrive at this place where I can see and hear, more like sense the guidance that is all around. And it is here... I can say that. It is very real...
So, in listening I found myself in San Antonio, TX last Friday the happy new owner of a Dual Sport motorcycle. Spirit had guided me to this place in time and I trusted. All the doubts and second thoughts, suspicions and concerns were tested with my tools of discernment and I was told to proceed. Everything about the meeting and transaction went beyond smooth, as though nothing could get in the way.
The journey home took me through west Texas the first day, riding 650 miles in 17 1/2 hours... Now, consider this. I started motorcycling again after 20 some years in 2007, my first and only experience with a motorcycle being in college for 6 months. Over the past 3 years I have ridden 6000 miles on my cruiser, so I feel comfortable on a bike now. Last year, though I hardly rode at all and I hadn’t been on the bike since October when I did my first overnight down to Phoenix, 120 miles away. Putting it bluntly, I had never done anything like this before...
So, there I was at 3:30 in the morning the first day faced with 1250 miles home and no direct experience to relate to. I was in service, I opened to the experience and I listened... all the way home. The first day was amazing; I had chosen a longer route that kept me off the high traffic Interstate-10, which allowed for a very peaceful ride. The bike and I were one and I dissolved into the experience, following the path before me with diligence, awareness and consciousness.
There was not a lot of thinking. I ran 2 Mantra’s through my mind the whole journey, I listened to my body and I listened to my Higher Self. I met the original creator of my soul, the Universe, of all things... I am not sure precisely when it happened and I can’t describe how, but I know... deep inside. We spoke, I remember the visions of what was being said, but I don’t recall the conversation. There was a conveyance of my Soul’s original blueprint and intent. There was Love and kindness, forgiveness, compassion, joy and happiness... bliss. As the first day of the journey was coming to a close and the sun was setting I still had a few hours of riding in the dark.
I passed a single vehicle accident and stopped to see if the Border Patrol officers needed some help. I shared Love with them and the driver, they were kinda out of their element, being just first responders, but they had done an excellent job of stabilizing the driver and were just waiting for an ambulance. They were relieved after I stopped and helped for a few minutes and suggested that I continue on my journey. I told the driver he would be in my prayers and moved on. All for the highest and best good,
As I continued, I understood that I was in the perfect place at the perfect time, where I was supposed to be and when I arrived at the hotel... the days journey complete. Sharing Love with the staff at the hotel so wonderful and I relaxed into stillness at the end of a long day... As I briefly looked at the weather for the following day, I was confident that all was aligning for the highest and best good, even though the forecast was for rain, snow, and heavy winds, gusting to 50+ mph... I went to sleep that night knowing all would be perfect when I awoke...
As I contemplate that day, now as I write this, I am aware that I got out of my own way, became the “hollow bone” and allowed Spirit to flow through me without any interference. In that experience is where I connected with the Original Creator and it was that day I began to see more clearly what I am to do in this lifetime.
And so I am doing that which I am to do. I have stopped questioning and looking to the realm of reason for answers, instead just being present listening for the guidance and moving on that guidance. In doing so, allowing for my Authentic Nature to shine in the Light of Love and Kindness, I am free and better able to serve myself and others. I am better able to live compassionately and without judgement, to allow for the highest and best good for all creation to manifest itself within the field around me.
And so I continue on this path as it is what I am to do.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Selfless Service...
This morning I contemplate selfless service. Allowing the highest and best good to unfold before me while being present and holding sacred space. I can see just how important the Soul work has been to allow this to occur. I am better able to release my egoic interests because I have come to see that they just get in the way. It will all unfold as it is supposed to if I just relax into the flow, bear witness and am in my heart.
My partner, Deva and I are just finishing a 3 1/2 day Shamanic Healing retreat that we hosted here in Sedona, AZ. The insights, direct experience and healing that is occurring for the participants is truly amazing. Shamanic work is so empowering, as it is participatory in nature. Participants become practitioners very quickly once introduced to non-ordinary reality and after journeying to meet their Shamanic Power Animal.
The work is very empowering, facilitating stronger connection to Source and a better understanding of one’s experience in the world. As one’s practice builds, much of the outer stuff falls away and the source of dis-ease becomes illuminated allowing a practitioner to truly heal wounds of the past.
In being present this last 3 days, holding space, doing Soul Retrieval and guiding these wonderful beings to find their Higher Selves, I realized, again how important it is to remove the “self” from the service.
It is not up to me, Marc to decide what is in someone’s highest and best good... However, by being present, “seeing”, “listening” and holding Sacred Space the energy flows without the “self” involved, I become the “hollow bone”, thus allowing the energy, wisdom and power of creator to flow through me. I become the guide on the journey, allowing Creator to work in this reality through me.
I am to be in Service... I know that, have always known it, even when I didn’t know how. My journey has led me to this place and I step another step on the path.
Much is unfolding as I let go of the self, the amazing adventure continues...
Love and Light,
Marc
My partner, Deva and I are just finishing a 3 1/2 day Shamanic Healing retreat that we hosted here in Sedona, AZ. The insights, direct experience and healing that is occurring for the participants is truly amazing. Shamanic work is so empowering, as it is participatory in nature. Participants become practitioners very quickly once introduced to non-ordinary reality and after journeying to meet their Shamanic Power Animal.
The work is very empowering, facilitating stronger connection to Source and a better understanding of one’s experience in the world. As one’s practice builds, much of the outer stuff falls away and the source of dis-ease becomes illuminated allowing a practitioner to truly heal wounds of the past.
In being present this last 3 days, holding space, doing Soul Retrieval and guiding these wonderful beings to find their Higher Selves, I realized, again how important it is to remove the “self” from the service.
It is not up to me, Marc to decide what is in someone’s highest and best good... However, by being present, “seeing”, “listening” and holding Sacred Space the energy flows without the “self” involved, I become the “hollow bone”, thus allowing the energy, wisdom and power of creator to flow through me. I become the guide on the journey, allowing Creator to work in this reality through me.
I am to be in Service... I know that, have always known it, even when I didn’t know how. My journey has led me to this place and I step another step on the path.
Much is unfolding as I let go of the self, the amazing adventure continues...
Love and Light,
Marc
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Checking in with Creator
What I am coming to see is that where I have gone against Creator in my life... Choices, thoughts, words and actions that were not aligned with my original blueprint, these are the places that have created discord in my life. These are the places that I am healing now. I can tell this is happening because there are “tells” in my body. If I listen with an ear to non-ordinary reality, I can see what needs to be addressed.
Many times along the way unconscious thoughts, words and actions bound up my energy and I lost it to the situation... From that point forward, without a conscious effort to get it back, any time a similar frequency of experience occurred, I would re-enact the script as though it were the first time. That just doesn’t make sense... What happened over years of this unconscious behavior is that I developed what’s called wrong knowledge.
As I continue to recover the stuck pieces of my soul energy, it feels as though my being is changing. I understand the nature of my experience much better. As my energy returns my light is becoming stronger and vibrating at a much higher frequency. When density appears it is so out of place... it becomes the elephant in the room, as it were. This is the time to check in with Creator, the Source of all Love.
Going deep into a shamanic meditation brings me to non-ordinary reality. This is the place of dreams... the place where everything has meaning, nothing is out of place and all is available for my learning and understanding. It is the place of extraordinary depth, it is the place of Creation. It is here that I journey to past lives and here that I journey to the past of this life. And it is here that I am beginning to see the blueprint of my Creation.
This is the work to be done... Why am I here? What am I to bring to Creation? How am I to be? A myriad of other questions will come in as you explore the nature of your Creation. It is amazing work, thrilling and exciting I journey to meet myself and discover answers to the questions that have never been answered.
As it becomes clearer I am better able to see my contributions to this lifetime and make choices that are aligned with my Higher Consciousness. I understand wrong knowledge now, seeing that I had developed it along the way and was using it as truth. Ok... So that needs to change and I have a practice to correct the errors of my ways... I do so to freely be in the present moment, the moment of Creation. To better represent the Divine nature Creator intended for my Soul, I continue the work.
So, I move into this day with purposeful intent, steadfast to the practice I forgive and release all that has come before so I may walk peacefully sharing Love with all Creation...
Light and Love
Marc
Many times along the way unconscious thoughts, words and actions bound up my energy and I lost it to the situation... From that point forward, without a conscious effort to get it back, any time a similar frequency of experience occurred, I would re-enact the script as though it were the first time. That just doesn’t make sense... What happened over years of this unconscious behavior is that I developed what’s called wrong knowledge.
As I continue to recover the stuck pieces of my soul energy, it feels as though my being is changing. I understand the nature of my experience much better. As my energy returns my light is becoming stronger and vibrating at a much higher frequency. When density appears it is so out of place... it becomes the elephant in the room, as it were. This is the time to check in with Creator, the Source of all Love.
Going deep into a shamanic meditation brings me to non-ordinary reality. This is the place of dreams... the place where everything has meaning, nothing is out of place and all is available for my learning and understanding. It is the place of extraordinary depth, it is the place of Creation. It is here that I journey to past lives and here that I journey to the past of this life. And it is here that I am beginning to see the blueprint of my Creation.
This is the work to be done... Why am I here? What am I to bring to Creation? How am I to be? A myriad of other questions will come in as you explore the nature of your Creation. It is amazing work, thrilling and exciting I journey to meet myself and discover answers to the questions that have never been answered.
As it becomes clearer I am better able to see my contributions to this lifetime and make choices that are aligned with my Higher Consciousness. I understand wrong knowledge now, seeing that I had developed it along the way and was using it as truth. Ok... So that needs to change and I have a practice to correct the errors of my ways... I do so to freely be in the present moment, the moment of Creation. To better represent the Divine nature Creator intended for my Soul, I continue the work.
So, I move into this day with purposeful intent, steadfast to the practice I forgive and release all that has come before so I may walk peacefully sharing Love with all Creation...
Light and Love
Marc
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Living the Dream
I have said this on occasion, Living the Dream... Most notably, while on wildfire assignments. I have always been very passionate about fighting wildland fire, ever since the first time I was exposed to it back in 1987. Actually, the first time was lighting piles during the fall burning season for a forestry contractor in Missoula, MT. The smoke and flames... Wow, I was really excited about it.
Now, 23 years later I am still as passionate about my role in the wildland fire service as I was back then. Living the Dream, I will say when asked, “How are you?” on assignment. And it is true, I did dream about this many times along the way. I dreamed of becoming a Type 1 Helibase Manager and being on a Type 1 National Incident Management Team, and now I am.
This was my dream and I took steps to make it happen. That is what occurs when one is passionate about something. And herein lies the enigma I have been searching for. Much of my life to the point where I started making choices that were aligned with my Authentic Self some 3 years ago was someone else’s dream. That’s right, I was living someone else’s dream... and it didn’t work out. How did it happen?
Through shamanic journeying and soul retrieval I have found the answer. And in doing so, I have released much burden from my being. I was angry, resentful, wrathful, fearful, unsure at times... I was carrying around a lifetime’s worth of choices and actions that were predicated on training that I received as a child growing up. Oh sure, I did them... I was there the whole time, but many decisions were not aligned with my Authentic Self.
I remember from my earliest recollection my well-intentioned parents training me for a productive and successful life in our society. Preparing me for college, providing experiences that they thought would enrich my experience... make me a better person. Classical guitar lessons, tennis, heavy emphasis on school are just a few that stick out.
But, something happened... It seems that while I was growing up, I was unable to find me. I suspect that if I tried to express myself in a way that I wanted to it was put to the “parent’s dream” test. If it was aligned, then thumbs up if not, then perhaps that isn’t the best thing for Marc.
I am oversimplifying a very deep personal discovery, but you get the picture. I suspect this happens a great deal in parenting, couples wanting the best for their children... better than they had it. So, a plan forms as to how that can be and parents set about to make it happen. But, what about this developing spiritual human being? How does he determine what he wants to be when he grows up?
In my case, I began to live their dream... albeit reluctantly, rebelliously and with much difficulty. And it made me angry... I carried around a great deal of anger as a child and into my adult life. Even though I have lived a peaceful life these last several years, there has always been an undercurrent of anger and rage deep within my being. It only came out in flashes or in a look but it was there.
Last night I saw it though... And I journeyed on it. And I did Soul Recovery as well, getting back huge pieces of my Soul that had fractured off along the way. I am feeling better now... better able to see why many of the things I have been working through have occurred. Why I never seemed to truly be happy... Well, it all boils down to this. I am living my dream now. I am living for me and reuniting with my Authentic Self and in doing so have found happiness.
This latest discovery is a relief. I am continuing the soul recovery process, especially forgiveness and release focusing on my childhood and my parents. In doing so, I am seeing where “my story” was wrong. Because of the traumatic (to the Soul) experiences and resulting Soul piece loss, I was harboring a great deal of anger and resentment... Blame towards my parents. (I am so sorry Mom and Dad...). Over the years, this festered and boiled and was turned down to a simmer, but it was always there. Even now, looking back over the past several years, thinking that my relationship with my parents was really good, I can see that I haven’t been fully present with them. Deep in my sub-conscious, I always felt that I was letting them down if I tried to be me, especially now that I have so dramatically departed from their early dreams for me.
But what’s interesting is now all they want for me is to be happy... Well, I am going to have a much better time of it now that I am releasing this. Yay!
So as I continue to forgive and release, I am opening up and better able to see them for the beautiful and amazing parents they have been to me these 41 years. I love you dearly, Mom and Dad... Thank you... And I am feeling the lightness of being returning to me. I am feeling my Authentic Self and listening to my Guides. This healing was necessary for me to truly stand in the Light of my Being and I am grateful.
I am Living my Dream now... with Total Personal Responsibility I am Living my Dream.
Peace and Love
Marc
Now, 23 years later I am still as passionate about my role in the wildland fire service as I was back then. Living the Dream, I will say when asked, “How are you?” on assignment. And it is true, I did dream about this many times along the way. I dreamed of becoming a Type 1 Helibase Manager and being on a Type 1 National Incident Management Team, and now I am.
This was my dream and I took steps to make it happen. That is what occurs when one is passionate about something. And herein lies the enigma I have been searching for. Much of my life to the point where I started making choices that were aligned with my Authentic Self some 3 years ago was someone else’s dream. That’s right, I was living someone else’s dream... and it didn’t work out. How did it happen?
Through shamanic journeying and soul retrieval I have found the answer. And in doing so, I have released much burden from my being. I was angry, resentful, wrathful, fearful, unsure at times... I was carrying around a lifetime’s worth of choices and actions that were predicated on training that I received as a child growing up. Oh sure, I did them... I was there the whole time, but many decisions were not aligned with my Authentic Self.
I remember from my earliest recollection my well-intentioned parents training me for a productive and successful life in our society. Preparing me for college, providing experiences that they thought would enrich my experience... make me a better person. Classical guitar lessons, tennis, heavy emphasis on school are just a few that stick out.
But, something happened... It seems that while I was growing up, I was unable to find me. I suspect that if I tried to express myself in a way that I wanted to it was put to the “parent’s dream” test. If it was aligned, then thumbs up if not, then perhaps that isn’t the best thing for Marc.
I am oversimplifying a very deep personal discovery, but you get the picture. I suspect this happens a great deal in parenting, couples wanting the best for their children... better than they had it. So, a plan forms as to how that can be and parents set about to make it happen. But, what about this developing spiritual human being? How does he determine what he wants to be when he grows up?
In my case, I began to live their dream... albeit reluctantly, rebelliously and with much difficulty. And it made me angry... I carried around a great deal of anger as a child and into my adult life. Even though I have lived a peaceful life these last several years, there has always been an undercurrent of anger and rage deep within my being. It only came out in flashes or in a look but it was there.
Last night I saw it though... And I journeyed on it. And I did Soul Recovery as well, getting back huge pieces of my Soul that had fractured off along the way. I am feeling better now... better able to see why many of the things I have been working through have occurred. Why I never seemed to truly be happy... Well, it all boils down to this. I am living my dream now. I am living for me and reuniting with my Authentic Self and in doing so have found happiness.
This latest discovery is a relief. I am continuing the soul recovery process, especially forgiveness and release focusing on my childhood and my parents. In doing so, I am seeing where “my story” was wrong. Because of the traumatic (to the Soul) experiences and resulting Soul piece loss, I was harboring a great deal of anger and resentment... Blame towards my parents. (I am so sorry Mom and Dad...). Over the years, this festered and boiled and was turned down to a simmer, but it was always there. Even now, looking back over the past several years, thinking that my relationship with my parents was really good, I can see that I haven’t been fully present with them. Deep in my sub-conscious, I always felt that I was letting them down if I tried to be me, especially now that I have so dramatically departed from their early dreams for me.
But what’s interesting is now all they want for me is to be happy... Well, I am going to have a much better time of it now that I am releasing this. Yay!
So as I continue to forgive and release, I am opening up and better able to see them for the beautiful and amazing parents they have been to me these 41 years. I love you dearly, Mom and Dad... Thank you... And I am feeling the lightness of being returning to me. I am feeling my Authentic Self and listening to my Guides. This healing was necessary for me to truly stand in the Light of my Being and I am grateful.
I am Living my Dream now... with Total Personal Responsibility I am Living my Dream.
Peace and Love
Marc
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Peace
Wow! I saw something tonight... another insight driven home with clarity and precision, brought on by a myriad of celestial circumstance culminating to crescendo, cascading... coursing cosmic awareness throughout my being. I have been a bit quiet this past week, reflective... releasing the past and continuing the purification.
Like the layers of the onion... more is revealed. These past years of dedicated study, practice and lifestyle changes has transformed my body and spirit, and is cleansing my mind of errant, erratic, erotic, erroneous, egotistical, egoic, economic, etc thoughts. What an amazing journey inward, with many astounding discoveries in every aware moment.
It was here all along, nothing has changed outside of me. Circumstances exist, situations occur, the way of the world is still the same, if not more intense recently, yet I have found a peace. I still am finding density, or darkness in my being and actively releasing as it comes up... Sometimes, getting stuck for a bit, but constantly progressing.
I am learning to Dance, to feel the natural rhythm and flow with it. Turns out, this is easy and the body feels at ease when aligned with all creation, harmonizing, it is an amazing sensation felt deeply to my core. In the Dance, there are ways to get unstuck and back into the flow, but I am learning that it is far better to keep a watchful eye so as to adjust or turn with proper timing.
It is all in the mind, I have discovered. It is the way my mind has been (literally) programmed. Plugged into the matrix of our society’s creation, intent on repressing my true nature and wanting of my intention to perpetuate it. Much of my happiness or unhappiness, sustained or fleeting, has been a product of my thinking. That thinking has been warped by a lifetime of polar experiences, and I must release myself from this programming to experience reality as it truly is... Divine.
Diligent and steadfast, I am awake and aware... conscious. I continue to do the work, I continue to learn, to Dance. Spectacular Creation is when truly considered, observed with reverence, I tune in Spirit and give thanks. I express my gratitude and pledge to walk softly on our Mother. To carry the medicine and respect the teachings... to listen to my inner child whose view is unobscured, fascinated and fresh.
The purification continues, battling my demons has taken on new meaning as I understand better what is happening. As one is released, another is revealed allowing for new healing and growth. I am the Light of this body and darkness will not reside within me. I am walking the path of peace, carrying purposeful intent towards a Loving and Kind life experience.
Like the layers of the onion... more is revealed. These past years of dedicated study, practice and lifestyle changes has transformed my body and spirit, and is cleansing my mind of errant, erratic, erotic, erroneous, egotistical, egoic, economic, etc thoughts. What an amazing journey inward, with many astounding discoveries in every aware moment.
It was here all along, nothing has changed outside of me. Circumstances exist, situations occur, the way of the world is still the same, if not more intense recently, yet I have found a peace. I still am finding density, or darkness in my being and actively releasing as it comes up... Sometimes, getting stuck for a bit, but constantly progressing.
I am learning to Dance, to feel the natural rhythm and flow with it. Turns out, this is easy and the body feels at ease when aligned with all creation, harmonizing, it is an amazing sensation felt deeply to my core. In the Dance, there are ways to get unstuck and back into the flow, but I am learning that it is far better to keep a watchful eye so as to adjust or turn with proper timing.
It is all in the mind, I have discovered. It is the way my mind has been (literally) programmed. Plugged into the matrix of our society’s creation, intent on repressing my true nature and wanting of my intention to perpetuate it. Much of my happiness or unhappiness, sustained or fleeting, has been a product of my thinking. That thinking has been warped by a lifetime of polar experiences, and I must release myself from this programming to experience reality as it truly is... Divine.
Diligent and steadfast, I am awake and aware... conscious. I continue to do the work, I continue to learn, to Dance. Spectacular Creation is when truly considered, observed with reverence, I tune in Spirit and give thanks. I express my gratitude and pledge to walk softly on our Mother. To carry the medicine and respect the teachings... to listen to my inner child whose view is unobscured, fascinated and fresh.
The purification continues, battling my demons has taken on new meaning as I understand better what is happening. As one is released, another is revealed allowing for new healing and growth. I am the Light of this body and darkness will not reside within me. I am walking the path of peace, carrying purposeful intent towards a Loving and Kind life experience.
A person’s present thoughts build his/her life of tomorrow;
a person’s life is the creation of his/her own mind.
The Buddha
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Purification
I recently experienced my first Sweat Lodge Ceremony, it was all about purification. Crawling into the womb of the mother, symbolically to be born anew after the cleanse... pure, refreshed and new. Tabula Rasa... a clean slate. Wow, what an experience.
Purposeful intent and prayer the theme for the men’s lodge that was poured by my brother. He spoke of tradition and the need to bring the ceremony into the light, to expose tradition for all to see at this time. To bring all together, as we are one, regardless of race, creed, heritage or belief. We all sat in the womb of the Mother in prayer. We shared words and song, healing and release... each of us battling our own demons, yet with a singularity of purpose and intent held steadfast by our presence together.
The darkness and heat as the stone people glowed in the center of our tiny space illuminated inner knowings... traumatic experiences locked in cellular memory receding as the vibrations of Love and Light brings us all to an expansive state. The darkness merely an illusion as the Light poured forth from our unity of intent and purpose. Purification occurred, as I crawled out of the opening into the chill night air every cell in my being vibrating. Densities still releasing as I stand by the once raging fire, now a bed of coals softly illuminating the essence of the surroundings.
There was peace as I stood there feeling my connection to Spirit; Love and Kindness radiating from my being. I am the embodiment of the Divine and Spirit works through me as a vessel to share Love with all creation. I see that so clearly now. I came face to face with my Authentic Self during Ceremony and I had a lot to say... Carry peaceful intentions always, Marc. Choose Love, not fear or any of its many derivatives. Do no harm... Be true to yourself, follow your path and walk it with integrity. Know yourself, Love yourself... Forgive yourself.
Much of what my brother spoke of in Lodge as he poured the water was about honoring all creation, living with nature, and prayer. It’s all about the prayer, and so we prayed. We prayed alone, we prayed together and in oneness we emerged.
To me, prayer is a state of consciousness... Yes, sometimes there are words or mantras, thoughts and intent, but the more I work with it, the more I see it is the calm, serene or tranquil place the mind gets to when it is at peace. When the mortgage payment isn’t looming or dinner for the kids or relationship issues don’t surface, the boss isn’t still placing demands on you... the list is endless if one gets wrapped up in it all... So, bring the prayer, bring peace and do it often.
Many of life’s experience has weighed heavily on me in the past. I have met much of my journey with resistance these forty some years. I am still learning. I still make mistakes. I still seek forgiveness and am constantly forgiving myself. I have found connections to the past that keep me from having a present authentic moment. And I am letting it all go...
Coming out of Lodge, I see the importance of Purification. I need to have purity in my life right now. I need to have the sacred intentions, as this is my life’s calling. My Authentic Self expressed in this form named Marc.
And now I pray... having purged much of the darkness that was a part of me, I pray. I pray ever vigilance to Truth in Higher Consciousness. I pray the darkness away... I pray forgiveness from past transgressions, I pray peace, I pray Love, Light, Beauty and Grace. I pray discernment. I pray healing and a health body, mind and spirit. I pray...
Peace and Love
Marc
Purposeful intent and prayer the theme for the men’s lodge that was poured by my brother. He spoke of tradition and the need to bring the ceremony into the light, to expose tradition for all to see at this time. To bring all together, as we are one, regardless of race, creed, heritage or belief. We all sat in the womb of the Mother in prayer. We shared words and song, healing and release... each of us battling our own demons, yet with a singularity of purpose and intent held steadfast by our presence together.
The darkness and heat as the stone people glowed in the center of our tiny space illuminated inner knowings... traumatic experiences locked in cellular memory receding as the vibrations of Love and Light brings us all to an expansive state. The darkness merely an illusion as the Light poured forth from our unity of intent and purpose. Purification occurred, as I crawled out of the opening into the chill night air every cell in my being vibrating. Densities still releasing as I stand by the once raging fire, now a bed of coals softly illuminating the essence of the surroundings.
There was peace as I stood there feeling my connection to Spirit; Love and Kindness radiating from my being. I am the embodiment of the Divine and Spirit works through me as a vessel to share Love with all creation. I see that so clearly now. I came face to face with my Authentic Self during Ceremony and I had a lot to say... Carry peaceful intentions always, Marc. Choose Love, not fear or any of its many derivatives. Do no harm... Be true to yourself, follow your path and walk it with integrity. Know yourself, Love yourself... Forgive yourself.
Much of what my brother spoke of in Lodge as he poured the water was about honoring all creation, living with nature, and prayer. It’s all about the prayer, and so we prayed. We prayed alone, we prayed together and in oneness we emerged.
To me, prayer is a state of consciousness... Yes, sometimes there are words or mantras, thoughts and intent, but the more I work with it, the more I see it is the calm, serene or tranquil place the mind gets to when it is at peace. When the mortgage payment isn’t looming or dinner for the kids or relationship issues don’t surface, the boss isn’t still placing demands on you... the list is endless if one gets wrapped up in it all... So, bring the prayer, bring peace and do it often.
Many of life’s experience has weighed heavily on me in the past. I have met much of my journey with resistance these forty some years. I am still learning. I still make mistakes. I still seek forgiveness and am constantly forgiving myself. I have found connections to the past that keep me from having a present authentic moment. And I am letting it all go...
Coming out of Lodge, I see the importance of Purification. I need to have purity in my life right now. I need to have the sacred intentions, as this is my life’s calling. My Authentic Self expressed in this form named Marc.
And now I pray... having purged much of the darkness that was a part of me, I pray. I pray ever vigilance to Truth in Higher Consciousness. I pray the darkness away... I pray forgiveness from past transgressions, I pray peace, I pray Love, Light, Beauty and Grace. I pray discernment. I pray healing and a health body, mind and spirit. I pray...
Peace and Love
Marc
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